ArchivesTag : John Kerry

Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”

Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I saw on the news last night that Walmart is going to start doing breast implants. I know that breast implants use saline pouches, and that saline is just another name for salt water.

Full Story

John Kerry’s Self-Inflicted Wounds: one got him a Purple heart, he hopes the latest gets him the Nobel Prize!

The State Department – (satireworld.com) First he misfired an M-79 grenade launcher that hit a rock and gave him a nick on the arm, then he misspoke and shot himself in the foot: John Kerry continues to advocate himself for unearned medals and laurels like a true Democratic Liberal!

Full Story

Middle East Peace, At Last!

Suva Fiji Islands- (SatireWorld.com) US Secretary of State (SOS) John Kerry completed the last leg of his world trip to meet with Fiji government leaders. He had already met with government leaders in Tehran, Iran; Riyadh, Saudi Arabia; Cairo, Egypt; Jerusalem, Israel; Damascus Syria; Moscow, Russian Federation; and Beijing, Peoples Republic of China. He carried […]

Full Story

Gore, HHS, EPA Double Down on Global Warming; ignore US about to be “Fukushimed!”

San Francisco, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Thanks to amateur nuclear hobbyists it appears that the downplayed threat from the Japanese meltdown of it’s nuclear plant has already hit beaches in San Francisco while Obama’s cabinet officials continue to play down the findings of the potential disaster.

Full Story

Dr. Mengele Addresses College Students on his great Medical Experiment: ObamaKare!

Baltimore, MD – (SatireWorld.com) Barack Obama appeared before the only type of crowd he’s comfortable bullshitting, community college students in Maryland (you listening POM?) to take a victory lap about his new medical program which is rolling out in 5 days…even though the death panels and regrouped abortion clinics are not ready to pull the […]

Full Story

Chevron Legal Team: Enough Recoverable Methane Gas under White House to fuel Country for 1,000 Years!

London(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) A leader in the world’s energy production, Chevron, fresh off their victory against Ecuador’s extortion attempts led by corrupt US Attorney Kerry “Ambien” Kennedy, announced the huge unnatural gas find at a stockholder’s meeting in London.

Full Story

Kerry and McQuisling SHOCKED to find 3 ‘moderate’ US Muslims involved in deadly Nairobi slaughter!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Secretary of State John ‘Ketchup” Kerry and Arizona Senator John “Amnesty” McCain, both expressed consternation, confusion, and dismay after finding out the Nairobi mall slaughter carried out by a Muslim Murder Inc. group, Al-Sjabaad. included at least 3 Americans, a Canadian, and a Brit.

Full Story

Time Magazine Cover picks Vladimir Putin as their Person of the Year in Foreign Editions. We get Miley Cyrus Nude for Home Consumption!

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) While Time lauded Putin’s smack down of Obama in the game of political football in Africa, Asia, Europe and in the Middle east with a Nude photo from the waist up, ala Geraldo Rivera, Americans had to be satisfied with a cover featuring Miley Cyrus twerking herself.

Full Story

Obama Flies in Executive Porta Potti after Putin Refuses to “S*****t” Next to Him at G20!

St. Petersburg, Russia – (SatireWorld.com) Vladimir Putin made it abundantly clear he didn’t want to be any where near Barrack Hussein Obama at the upcoming G20 summit where Obama will be pushing his Gay Rights, anti-fracking, anti-coal, speed governors on all vehicles not produced by GM (government motors) and same sex bathrooms.

Full Story

“Specific and Credible” Threat Forces Obama to Evacuate to Martha’s Vineyard!

Martha’s Vineyard, MA – (SatireWorld.com) The first family and entire staff were evacuated from the White House after NASA confirmed an increase in ‘chatter’ from the mid east foretold an imminent ‘terror threat’ to the President!

Full Story

An Open Letter From John Kerry…

Washington,DC – (SatireWorld.com) Hello my fellow Americans. I am John Kerry. You probably remember me as the official Minute-Rice version of WW II’s Audey Murphy and I need to explain some things about me being a hero and all….

Full Story

Boston Explodes; Luckily Obama safe in Bunker after 4 Putting 11th hole on Andrew’s Air Force Base!

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) White House spokesman Jay Blarney (sic) met with WH reporters in emergency session to assure the nation that Obama was perfectly safe after a series of explosions in Boston at the finish line of the Kennedy Memorial IRA marathon!

Full Story

North Korea Strangely Silent after Kerry Delivers Sexual Aids to Kim Jung Dung, Jr.!

Poon Tang, N. Korea – (SatireWorld.com) In a last ditch effort to avoid annihilation by the superior physical and technical forces of the Peoples Repubic (sic) of North Korea, Secretary of State John Kerry landed on Inchon Beach to deliver a hoard of prized porn and sex toys to the deranged leader.

Full Story

Secretary of State Kerry Travels to Pyongyang North Korea

Pyongyang NK- (SatireWorld.com) North Korea cancelled the 1953 cease-fire agreement ending the Korean War, citing US efforts that resulted in additional UN sanctions over their nuclear testing as well as ongoing US/South Korean joint military drills. China also backed tough UN sanctions, as Beijing is fed up with the North Korean leadership constantly ordering Chinese […]

Full Story

President Obama Asks Secretary Of State Kerry To Plan State Visit With King Vitamin

US State Department – (SatireWorld.com) In his continuing effort to pander to all of the foreign Heads of State, U.S. President Barack Obama requested that his new Secretary of State John Kerry schedule an official visit with King Vitamin.

Full Story

‘Horse Face’ Kerry Announces He’s Bolting MA Due to Taxes; Popularity Sinks in New Gallup Poll!

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) Hot on the hooves of today’s announcement that Berkshire Hathaway and Warren Buffet are paying a $20 premium to acquire the Heinz empire, Secretary of State John Kerry announced he would be leaving his official residence in the Commonwealth behind, in part due to the $670,000 windfall impacting his stock portfolio […]

Full Story

Senator Liz Warren’s World: You’re Not in Cambridge Anymore Toto!

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) Unfortunately for Massachusetts latest representative to the Senate, Harvaaad (sic) professor, cook book author and champion of the little people, Satire World caught up with Elizabeth Warren in the organic vegetable aisle at the Whole Foods Market in Georgetown this weekend.

Full Story

Obama Regime Continues March on Mediocrity in Government Appointees!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) President Barry Obama has announced his new mantra for surrounding himself with the deaf, dumb and blind in order to remain in supreme command of his totalitarian regime.

Full Story

Hee-Haw: Obama Annoints Talking Horse John Kerry as Secretrary of State!

Boston, MA – (SAtireWorld.cvom) For the past several months MA Senator John Kerry has been wearing a longer face than usual after it appeared his coveted appointment as US Secretary of State would be going to Susan Rice, the diminutive and crusty 4’11” UN Ambassador with a record of being anti Israeli, Pro-Iranian (Huma, Huma, […]

Full Story

Senator Elizabeth Warren at Her First Public ‘Pow Wow’ Blows Smoke Signals from Her Arse!

Seemingly shocked over her victory over moderate Republican Scott Brown in the totalitarian blue state of Massachusetts, feather weight pretender and Harvaaad (sic) apologist Lizy seemed lost for words as she appeared before liberal reporters along with the next Attorney General, Governor ‘Cadillac’ Deval Patrick.

Full Story

After New Heart Transplant Ex-VP Dick Cheney Ready For Presidential Run

Caspar,WY – (SatireWorld.com) Resting comfortably after a grueling 8 hour heart transplant, 72 year old Dick Cheney says he feels fine and is ready for the next passages in his life. To emphasize his newly-found robustness, the ex-VP bench pressed a 200lb bar bell and slugged down a body building vanilla shake.

Full Story

Bubba Banking on Hillary Squeezing into World Bank Chair Despite Her ‘Big Arse Mess’

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Despite denials from the White House and Clinton Staffers, a sure sign of prevarication, odds are on Hillary Clinton to more than fill the seat of Robert Zoellick who announced he would be stepping down from the World Bank in June.

Full Story