ArchivesTag : Lindsay Lohan

The Miley Cyrus Question: It’s Nurture, Not Nature (A Satireworld Editorial)

A SATIREWORLD EDITORIAL Country singer and father Billy Ray Cyrus sits in his Tennessee home with an Achy Breaky Heart. His condition has nothing to do with his music, but everything to do with his daughter. This week, Miley became the latest in a line of “Disney Skanks” with her performance at the MTV Video […]

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Kim Jong Un Invites Jane Fonda To Visit North Korea

Pyongyang, North Korea – (SatireWorld.com) Kim Jong Un, current dictator of North Korea, has invited “Hanoi” Jane Fonda to visit his country. The actress, exercise video star, and political activist is most famous for her stance on the Vietnam War and her treasonous acts towards the United States Government and individual American soldiers during that […]

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Lindsay Lohan Offers Oral Sex To Anyone Who Will Watch Her Next Movie

Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Actress Lindsay Lohan has offered to perform oral sex on everyone in America who voluntarily buys tickets to see her next movie. The former child star and one time Disney actress has seen her career decline as an adult, partially due to her drinking, drugs, partying, out of control lifestyle, and […]

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In Post Election Washington Sex Activist Sandra Fluke Now Considered A ‘Person Non Grata’

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) So, if you’re a ‘one trick political pony’ what does the future have in store for a person like Sandra Fluke? The answer might surprise you if you believe that the Obama campaign takes care of its own.

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Lindsay Lohan Found Unconscious in California Hotel Room….Brain Reported Missing!

Marina Del Mar, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Another disaster for America’s favorite tragedy-ready-to-happen? SatireWorld reports that the Lohan was found in the penthouse of the Ritz-Carlton in Marina del Rey before paramedics were reportedly called at 10:15 AM and the actress was transported to a nearby hospital.

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Lindsay Lohan Gets Access to Medicine Cabinet in Super Secret Presidential War Room!

The White House – (SatireWorld.com) In keeping with President Obama’s pledge for “Transparency”, it was announced that Lindsay Lohan was the latest Hollywood ‘celebrity’ to get access to the formerly super secret “Situation Room” at the White House.

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Grand Theft Auto: GM Plans to Fund Comedy Movie; The Laughs on US!

Detroit, MI – (SatireWorld.com) ObamaMotors, formerly known as General Motors and later as Government Motors, has stepped forward to not only supply the cars, but to bankroll the making of another Follywood movie, as if wasting Millions on a private remote golf course for union officials wasn’t enough!

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US To Trade Russians Lindsay Lohan For Hot Russian Spy Anna Chapman

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The US State Department has worked out a deal with its Russian counterpart to swap self-confessed Russian spy Anna Chapman for the soon to be incarcerated actress Lindsay Lohan.

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Vampires Vote Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan Favorite Hollywood Drinks

Van Nuys, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Vampires in California have just voted Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan to be their favorite celebrity drinks. Voting went along sexual lines, with male vampires going for Lohan and female vampires pulling for Sheen.

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OJ Simpson Claims- ‘Prison Life Is More Fun Since Lindsay Lohan Arrived’

California Penal System – (SatireWorld.com) Convict number 183996, also known as OJ Simpson, has confided to friends through his letters and censored emails that prison is now alot more fun! In an article in Prison Life Magazine, the ex-football player, opens his soul over the daily fun and excitement he finds while sitting in a […]

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Rosemary Rottencrotch Announces Her Retirement

Pittsburg, PA-(SatireWorld.com) Famed tart, Rosemary Rottencrotch, has announced her retirement today after a 75 year career of being the punchline and sophomoric foil in literally thousands of jokes, stories, and military marching liturgies.

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After Stolen Necklace Charge, Fed-up Judge Sentences Lindsay Lohan To The Electric Chair

San Quentin Prison, CA-(satireworld.com) Lindsay Lohan knew immediately that something was wrong when she woke up and found the prison chaplain by her bedside. After confronting him with tears in her eyes, Chaplain Piebottom explained that she wasn’t ever leaving jail, and in fact, was being moved to death row, just a few doors down […]

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