ArchivesTag : michelle obama

Michelle Obama Vows to Defend Her School Lunch Program “Til the Bitter End”

Minneapolis – (satireworld.com) While it’s not exactly a “Remember the Alamo!” battle cry, First Lady Michelle Obama is screeching that she will defend her signature school lunch program ‘til the bitter end.’

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Abuse of Power? Obama caught using drones to deliver Pizzas at 3 a.m. to White House!

The White House – (satireworld.com) In yet another instance of the failure of Michelle’s mandate against Obesity, and abuse of power by the Messiah in Chief, SW is now able to report that Barry’s cravings for ‘soul food’ is so great, he has been ordering Chicago Style Pizza from Cicero, Il. delivered by government drones […]

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The Three A.M. Call: “Iraq is burning, anybody know where the President is Sleeping these days?”

US Embassy,Baghdad – (satireworld.com) Frantic calls from the US embassy in Bagdad last night resulted in a Deja Vu moment all over as it appears the President is ‘missing in action AGAIN!

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Jay Carney: I was broke when I left the White House but I just signed a $20M advance on my new book and bought 3 houses and a Ferrari!

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Carney said the book is a work in progress but the preliminary title is “My Lying Days in the White House of Cards and How the Queen of Spades trumped all my tricks!”

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Michelle Obama’s Frequent Flyer Miles Win President Trip to Afghanistan

Washington, D.C. – (satireworld.copm) It seems the First Lady’s non-stop vacationing have paid off for the First Family. With the ridiculous number of miles she has flown on Air Force One in the past six years, Mrs. Obama was able to surprise her husband with a secret trip to Afghanistan this Memorial Day.

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Michelle Obama Debuts New College Degree Plan at Rutgers: ‘Professional Vacationer’

New Brunswick, NJ – (satireworld.com) Smiling, and without a care in the world, FLOTUS showed up at Rutgers University today to unveil a brand new academic program she is credited with creating, in conjunction with the Board of Regents, that should be a hit with the rich kids on campus: Professional Vacationer.

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MSNBC Announces Date for Sixth Annual “Take Your Barack Obama Blow Up Sex Doll to Work Day”

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) The MSNBC broadcast network has announced that Friday, May 2nd, will be their sixth annual “Take Your Barack Obama Blow Up Sex Doll to Work Day.” Network employee Chris “Tingles” Matthews said “While many companies hold a “Take Your Daughter to Work Day” or “Take Your Child to Work […]

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6’7″ High School Junior Malia Obama signs letter of intent with Chicago Bulls!

Chicago, IL – (satireworld.com) The NBA Chicago Bulls made history today by announcing they had signed Malia Obama to a life time contract vesting when she reaches age 18. The 16 year old power forward with the Sidell Friends School said she would forgo her senior year at Sidwell where she has been scoring 67 […]

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Putin’s New Ravenous Appitite inspired by Michelle’s “LETS MOVE!”

Moscow, Russia – (satireworld.com) Vladimir Putin claims that his recent appetite for consuming his neighbors was inspired by Michelle Obama’s “LETS MOVE” action committee abetted by Barry’s penchant for ‘leading from his behind!”

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Obama considering 3rd term run after Gender Reassignment to thwart Constitution!

The White House – (satireworld.com) LBGT supporters are beside themselves after hearing rumours AG Eric Holder is studying the legal ramifications of a sitting president changing his gender in order to seek a 3rd term as a different persona.

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Merde Alors! Francois Hollande Enters Wrong Tent, Gets Lost between Michelle’s Thighes!

The White House – (satireworld.com) Irresistible bachelor Francois Hollande sure has a knack for getting in ladies pants as he proved last night during the White House dinner where he took a wrong turn and wound up under the first lady’s designer dress.

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Search underway for site of Obama Presidential Lie-brary!

Chicago, IL – (satireworld.com) With only 3 years left in the Obama term as Incompetent in Chief, the President’s small group of liberal, very rich supporters have launched a foundation to build the President’s Lie-bray to ‘secure his records, and as a monument to his legacy!”

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Presidential Vagina Chronicles: Michelle Says: “I can’t go home again” After Barry Caught Dipping his Johnson in the Danish Cheese Spread!

The National Enquirer confirmed the story that SW broke last week about the Obama marriage being ‘irretrievably broken’ and even added a few more juicy tidbits that SW with held out of deference to the office of the President of the United States.

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Saudi Arabia Allows Women to Drive Cars

Riyadh, Saudi Arabia – (SatireWorld.com) In a startling reversal of government policy the King of Saudi Arabia and the Kingdom’s Council of Ministers has legalized the driving of automobiles by women. Burkas are still required while driving. (Saudi Arabia was the only country in the world to still prohibit women divers.)

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Obamacare Website Designer CGI VP Spent Christmas with the Obamas at the White House

Washington, DC via The Daily Caller Michelle Obama’s relationship with Princeton classmate Toni McCall Townes-Whitley, whose company earned the no-bid contract to design the disastrous Healthcare.Gov Obamacare website, continued after the Obamas moved into the White House.

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Obama Defunded Amber Alert System in Shutdown, While Michelle’s Website Stayed Up

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) At the beginning of the Government Shutdown, President Barack Obama instructed the Justice Department to defund all non essential programs, including the Amber Alert system. This system is used to help find missing or potentially kidnapped children by announcing on television, radio, freeway signs, and other media any known information about […]

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Obama Still Reeling From Putin Spanking Vets Anger At Congress and Cancels Annual Picnic!

The White House – (SatireWorld.com) The White House has offically cancelled its annual picnic for members of Congress, a White House spokesman told SatireWorld on Thursday in a brief two sentence press release.

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“Specific and Credible” Threat Forces Obama to Evacuate to Martha’s Vineyard!

Martha’s Vineyard, MA – (SatireWorld.com) The first family and entire staff were evacuated from the White House after NASA confirmed an increase in ‘chatter’ from the mid east foretold an imminent ‘terror threat’ to the President!

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Cape Cod and Islands Brace for Tropical Disturbance “Michelle” threatening Tourist Season!

Cape Cod, MA – (SatireWorld.com) The national news media was not on the scene when the Weather Channel’s ‘master of disaster’ Jim Cantori flew in to Hyannis, MA yesterday with his advance team anticipating the whirlwind arrival of Michelle Obama who threatened to take an extended ‘sabbatical’ from her stressful duties of mentoring her campaigning […]

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Recent spate of rapper shootings around the country prompts Obama to act ‘for the children’, Bans Bieber Recordings!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The president stated that the shootings threaten the future of the industry, the history of black culture in America, the reduction in the voting population, the Black Shopping Network, and the eradication of role models for our ghetto children who will grow up without a black rapper to worship.

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Obama Moves to Implement ‘CyprusCare’ To Fund More Vacations!

The White House announced today they were investigating a new fund raising method to insure that the Presidential Vacation/Travel budget would not be affected by the Sequester imposed by the President!

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And the Award for Best Supporting Actress for Comedic Farce goes to……

Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com) The nation was treated to an unprecedented event last night at the Academy Awards, an event boycotted by 49.8% of the country, who really couldn’t be arsed, when leading lady Moochelle Obama (FLOAT-US) was beamed in live from the White House to accept the newly created award!

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Researchers Learn Sally Hemings Was Really Mrs. Thomas Jefferson and First Black First Lady

Monticello, VA- (SatireWorld.com) Michelle Obama can no longer claim the title of being the first Black First Lady. Historical Researchers have uncovered documents that show Thomas Jefferson actually married his slave Sally Hemings, making her the first Black First Lady. Jefferson, a widower after the death of wife Martha Wayles (died in 1782), was the […]

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Michelle Obama’s Official White House Portrait Unveiled

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) First Lady Michelle Obama has had a new official White House portrait completed. As this is now her husband Barack’s second term, and she is four years older than when the last official portrait was made, an updated one was needed.

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Michelle Obama Upset Because “We Been In Office Four Years And Ain’t Nobody Give Us The Crown Jewels Yet!”

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) First Lady Michelle Obama is upset at the Federal Government and believes that they have been holding out on her and her husband. After the Inaugural Ball yesterday, she screamed at reporters “We been in office four years now and ain’t nobody give us the crown jewels yet! Do them racists […]

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Michelle ‘Wigging Out” to Appease White Liberals Called “Cornbread Mama” by Sharpton!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) In an apparent nod to white liberals who support, and mostly finance her husband’s Chicago Brand of Politics, Michelle Obama unveiled her new ‘Muffy from Marblehead” look for the private swearing in ceremony held in the White House on Sunday.

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Michelle Obama’s Steak and Lobster Tab Exceeds the GNP of Finland!

Washington, DC-(SatireWorld.com) According to first lady Michelle Obama it’s do as I say, not what I do! Remember the Michelle campaign of healthy eating and proper food choices for Americans? How about the much touted White House Garden, the scene of a hundred photo-ops with a hoe-in-hand Michelle bravely tilling the soil in a righteous […]

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PARDON ME! Obama Staff Prepares Post Election Retirement Fundraiser List!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) There’s panic in the bunker as Michelle Obama is heading up a special ‘Financial Action Committee’ to ensure the first couple head off into retirement well oiled, well heeled,and well…quite rich!

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Surgeons Perform First Successful G-Spot Transplant

Baltimore, MD – (SatireWorld.com) While transplants of the heart, kidneys, corneas, and other body parts have been successful for many years, John Hopkins doctors have just completed the first successful g-spot transplant.

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Romneys Volunteer To Be On Kiss-Cams After Michelle Snubs Presidential Hubby Barack

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) In the aftermath of Kiss-cam-Gate, Mitt Romney has volunteered to be filmed with his wife at all possible sporting events from now until the November elections.

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