ArchivesTag : NFL

Lost Fan Viewership Sparks On Field Rule Changes In NFL Boardroom

New York, NY – (satireworld.com) The ratings for NFL “Thursday Night Football” continued to drop again this week, scoring a 9.9/17 in metered market results on CBS and the NFL Network, according to Deadline Friday. Weeks of fan turn-off sparked by inappropriate protests during the national anthem have affected team revenues and further blackened the […]

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49ers QB Kaepernick Explains Why He Refuses to Stand for National Anthem

SAN FRANCISCO – (satireworld.com) San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick is facing criticism from American sports fans after he refused to stand for the national anthem before a preseason NFL game. Despite the controversy he’s caused himself, Kaepernick says he believes he’s doing the right thing and will continue to sit for the anthem going […]

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$10 Bills? No, Woman to be Featured on Helmets of Buffalo Bills Instead

WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com) Crushing the hopes of feminists everywhere, Secretary of Treasury Lew revealed this week that instead of featuring a woman’s picture on the $10 bill as previously reported, the Treasury has decided to feature, for the first time ever, a woman on the helmet of the Buffalo Bills. There had already been […]

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New England Patriots Sign Thom Braydee to Play For Suspended Brady

FOXBOROUGH – (satireworld.com) In a surprise announcement today from the New England Patriot’s football team, Coach Bill Belichick told reporters that the team has signed a previously un-drafted quarterback to start the four games that embattled star quarterback Tom Brady has been suspended for, following the investigation into the ball-deflating scandal from last season. The […]

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Tom Brady Deletes Entire NFL Database, Wipes Server Clean

FOXBOROUGH, MA – (satireworld.com) Just days after the NFL announced their findings from a preliminary investigation into whether or not New England Patriot’s quarterback Tom Brady had ball boys intentionally let the air out of his footballs to give him an advantage in games, word has surfaced that Mr. Brady has indeed deleted all files […]

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Obama pardons Baltimore looters, clears way for Raven’s NFL Draft!

Baltimore, MD – (satireworld.com) New AG Loretta Lynch helped clear the way for the Raven’s to capitalize on the upcoming NFL draft by confirming that she was ‘all in’ on Obama’s executive action of standing down on prosecution of ‘underprivileged african american athletes’ entrapped by the ‘unfortunate activities of a few bad law enforcement officers’ […]

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Tom Brady Admits Guilt, Suffering From “White Quarterback Privilege”

FOXBORO, MA – (satireworld.com) New England Patriot’s superstar, Tom Brady, has maybe admitted guilt regarding the under-inflated football scandal, but he says he has come to terms with his main problem, “White Quarterback Privilege.” Brady fully understands that if a black quarterback in the NFL had been accused of tampering with the inflation of footballs […]

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NFL Goes Pink for Breasts in October, Stays Pink in November For Hoo-Ha Awareness Month

NEW YORK CITY, NY – (satireworld.com) No football fan can escape the sea of pink on TV sets each October as the NFL conducts its yearly campaign to raise awareness for Breast Cancer. Now, the league has decided to stay pink to honor one of the greatest things in the world, the Hoo-Ha. The player’s […]

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MA Gov Deval Patrick says “Spousal Rape only Illegal in CA and the NFL “after firing heads of Dept for putting his Brother In Law on the convicted sexual offender list!

Boston, MA – (satireworld.com) Democratic sponsors of the ‘Republican War on Women’ looked the other way after the story of Patrick’s latest scandal hit the Boston Herald this morning, while the Boston Glob (sic) remained mum!

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Heightened security in White House as personal invitation from AbuL Bakr al-Baghdadi found on Obama’s pillow!

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) According to a source close to the president’s security detail the hand written invitation claimed that Barack’s approach to combat ISIS…was ‘stupid’ and proposed a ‘head to head ‘ meeting in DC claiming that “you’re much to busy to come to any of our conquered countries, and quite frankly Barry, I’d […]

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Say Goodbye Roger! NFL in shock as Michael Sam says Goodell ignored pleas for help as his fiance beat him with his G-string in Domestic Abuse assault!

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) LBGT activists picketed Roger Goodell’s office today amid reports that the commissioner refused to intervene after the NFL’s first self acknowledged gay player cried for help after a domestic abuse assault by his ‘girlfriend.”

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Goodell calls for character references for Rae Caruth in run up to his return to NFL after release from prison in 2018!

San Diego, CA – (satireworld.com) OJ is said to have vouched for Rae Caruth before the new NFL panel of ‘Social Responsibility’ demanded by Obama and a militant GROUP Of LBGT badminton players to determine additional punishment for ‘african american crimes against the financial interests of the NFL and its sponsors”

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NFL Commish, Barack Goodell, Denies Knowing About Ray Rice Elevator Video Before This Week

Baltimore, MD – (satireworld.com) Despite recent revelations the Ray Rice video showing Rice knocking out his wife was available months ago, NFL Commissioner Barack Hussein Goodell continued to maintain he had no access to the video until this week. “I only learned about the video when I saw it in the press on Monday, just […]

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Ray Rice Scores Endorsement Deals For Dating Site, Workout Video

Baltimore, MD – (satireworld.com) Exiled NFL running back Ray Rice has landed a couple of endorsement deals in the wake of his humiliating firing from the Baltimore Ravens after video surfaced of him beating his future wife in an elevator months ago.

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Brokeback Mountain Sequel to Star Michael Sam as Gay Cowboy

Dallas, TX – (satireworld.com) Hollywood is abuzz with news that the long delayed sequel to Brokeback Mountain has been greenlit by Dallas Cowboys owner, Jerry Jones, and will be financed with the hot dog sales at Cowboys football games over the next few seasons.

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Michael Sam Cut From Rams, Sales of Bar Soap Return to Pre-Draft Levels

St. Louis, MO – (satireworld.com) Several months ago, shortly after the NFL draft, sales of bar soap plummeted in this Midwestern city and experts were perplexed as to why there was a sharp drop off in sales.

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The Dallas Cowboys: Preseason News and Notes

The latest news and information from the *Dallas Cowboys* (America’s Team!).

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Dallas Cowboys Owner Denies Wrong Doing With Two Females (A Satire World Editorial)

(satireworld.com) Pictures surfaced on the internet this week of Jerry Jones with two women. One of the pictures has the Dallas Cowboys owner grabbing and cupping a woman’s breasts from behind. Another picture shows Jerry standing in his boxer shorts, while a woman is kneeling in front of his crotch (apparently ready to deliver oral […]

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(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS……..according to Nopes! #16

(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS

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Zingers: Sports

(satireworld.com) Off and on, for about six years, I wrote “snippets” for a different humor website. These were also easy one or two line jokes with a simple set up, followed by a punch line. Some people call these zingers or and others call them different names.

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Dallas Cowboy’s Fans Unite to Pray for Racist Remarks From Jerry Jones

Dallas, TX – (satireworld.com) In light of the lifetime ban placed upon Donald Sterling, owner of the LA Clippers, after his recent racist remarks, fans of the Dallas Cowboys football team have come together in prayer hoping their sorry-ass owner, Jerry Jones, will open his big mouth and say something that will get him banned […]

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PHOTO OF THE DAY

So much money. So much talent. So much suck when it comes to winning.

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NFL says-“Miley Dry Humping On Stage During Super Bowl Halftime OK – But No Advertisers Who Sell Guns’

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Taking a page from Michael Bloomberg’s anti-gun playbook, the NFL banned a prospective advertiser from placing a multi-million dollar pro-Second Amendment ad during the upcoming Super Bowl. The Daniel Defense company’s 60 second commercial stated the right to a citiizen self defense and defending one’s family and showed no firearms […]

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Best and worst NFL performances 2012-13

We are into the next NFL season and already we are seeing some amazing games go down, but we must not forget those great and completely terrible games from last season. Here is a reminder of the highs and lows that we can expect from the 2013-14 season.

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Jets Decide “They Both Suck” and Announce They’ll Start 70 Year Old Joe Namath As Quarterback

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) In the words of New York Jets’ coaches: “Mark Sanchez Sucks! Geno Smith sucks! The other rookies in camp suck!” Frustrated by their inability to find a quarterback, the team announced this morning that they are signing former Super Bowl MVP QB Joe Willie Namath to a five year, $150 […]

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NFL Considers Arming Line Judges in Wake of Knife Threats from Ravens!

San Francisco, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Satire World has confirmed reports that a contingent of running backs, wide receivers and tight ends from San Francisco (no pun intended) have contacted the League Office due to concerns over threats of being stabbed by Raven’s line backers Ray Lewis and Terrell Suggs during the upcoming Super Bowl Game.

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Ray Lewis Expected To Return To Stabbing Bar Patrons Upon NFL Retirement

Baltimore, MD – (SatireWorld.com) Baltimore Ravens defensive linebacker Ray Lewis announced his retirement from the NFL at the conclusion of his team’s participation in the upcoming playoffs. The 17 year National Football League veteran has been named to several all pro, Pro Bowl, and other all star teams in his career and is a Super […]

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Tony “Oh No!” Romo Continues Tradition By Blowing It Again

Dallas, TX – (SatireWorld.com) Tony Romo didn’t change his spots (like the proverbial panther) and led the Cowboys to their annual choke in the last game of the NFL season. Needing a win to make the playoffs, the Dallas quarterback threw three interceptions to winning defensive players on the Washington Redskins. He also completed only […]

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Woman Delivers World’s Fattest Triplets In Miracle Birth…NFL Promises a Signing Bonus!

Sacramento, CA – (SatireWorld.com) A California woman may have broken a world record when she gave birth a set of triplets who weighed more than 30 pounds each.

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Jerry Jones’ Eyeglasses Cleaner Refuses to Pick His Nose

Seacacus, NJ – (SatireWorld.com) During the second quarter of the Wednesday Dallas Cowboys-New York Giants game from the Meadowlands, cameras showed Cowboy owner Jerry Jones in his luxury skybox. He was handing his eyeglasses to a man behind him, who pulled a cloth from his shirt pocket, cleaned the glasses, and then handed them back […]

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