ArchivesTag : obamacare

Political Newspeak, You Can’t Make This Stuff UP!

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) A few reasons why the groundhog Punxsutawney Phil went back into his burrow to hibernate for six more weeks of winter.

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GMC to Introduce New Automobile in the 2015 Model Year

Detroit MI – (satrireworld.com) President Barack Obama loaned Government Motors Corporation (GMC) $50 billion (bailout money) in 2009 to avoid the company’s bankruptcy. US taxpayers will lose upwards of $10 billion, but gain a new federally specified automobile (think ObamaCare) to contemplate buying this year.

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SF 49er Streaker becomes unwilling organ donor after ‘junk’ falls off at Sub Zero Packer’s Playoff Game!

San Francisco, CA – (SatireWorld.com) An ardent San Francisco 49er football fan became the victim of an unintended consequence when he streaked Lambeau Field after his team beat the Packers on a late field goal just as time ran out and then had his dick fall off in the subzero temperature!

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More Citizens Apply For Illinois Concealed Gun Permits Than For Obamacare

Chicago, IL – (Breitbart News) On the heels of a federal court striking down Chicago’s ban on gun sales, those seeking gun permits in Illinois flooded the State Police website over the weekend to begin the permitting process. In fact, the amount of Illinois residents seeking a conceal carry permit already surpasses those who enrolled […]

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Barry grants another Obamacare Exemption for GLADD: No Tax on Anal Bleaching Salons!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) On a typical Obama weekend news dump, a spokesman for Kitty Sebelius said under pressure from members of GLADD, the administration would be dropping their tax on Anal Bleaching Salons, while keeping the tax on Tanning Salons catering to pale, white, heterosexual Christians and Duck Dynasty fans.

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Chris Christie seeks out SW reporter to ‘chew the fat’ on rise in NJ Employment figures!

Trenton, NJ – (SatireWorld.com) Current governor of New Jersey, aka The Garden State, and presidential candidate in waiting,Chris “Crispy Creme” Christie, couldn’t wait to have a one on one with Satire World to announce the latest rise in employment in his struggling state thanks to a new government grant courtesy of the FDA and Obama.

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Pucker UP! O’Buggernomics Set to Kick In for 2014!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Is the man delusional, demented, out of touch, ill informed, inarticulate, mentally challenged, morally devoid of character, Bi-Polar or a kaleidoscope of all the above? Patriotic Americans who believe in the basic values and history of this country now questioning the grand illusion of Obama, the most divisive, destructive, ignorant and […]

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Fired Mandela Sign Language Interpreter Hired as ‘Navigator’ as Obama reaches out to ‘deaf, dumb & blind!

Carson City, NV – (SatireWorld.com) Stressed out Obamacare hack ‘Kitty’ Sebelius, announced today that the department had hired on Thamsanqua Jantjie the South African bogus interpreter who waved his hands incoherently during Obama’s tribute to himself at the Mandela funeral.

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Obama: “If you like your home and auto insurance, you can keep it, but I’m Nationalizing it!”

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Acknowledging the absolute failure of Obamacare, the President said today due to the shortfall in enrollments, and the financial deficits resulting from it, he would move to nationalize Home and Auto insurance companies in order to cover the short fall, but not intrude on Federal Flood Insurance management.

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Obama Administration to Hire 5,000 Navel Inspectors

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) An unsubstantiated opinion originating from the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) speculated that belly button lint may be hazardous to human health. The EPA is not going to issue any new regulations for now, but recommends Americans be vigilant about innie belly button lint build up causing fires.

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White House Dog Wins Playing ‘The Knockout Game’….On a 2 Year Old Visitor!

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) A little excitement at today’s showing of the White House decorations caused a stir, but everything is OK it seems after ‘Sunny’ the Portuguese water dog knocked out a two year old girl visiting the White House Christmas celebrations.

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Michelle books visit to Planned Parenthood after Malia claims she’s ‘got a turkey in the oven!”

The White House – (SatireWorld.com) Hysterical turmoil at the White House this morning after Malia Obama tweets “big day…got a turkey in the oven after I got stuffed by Justin Bieber!”

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SatireWorld’s Captain America Fired From Part-time Mall Santa Job

Dingleberry, SC – (SatireWorld.com) At the Dingleberry Regional Mall there was a bit of excitement during the first official day of the holiday shopping season…Mall officials fired Santa Claus!

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Progressives Dick-tate Mandate for new “Super Condom”; Put $ Where Their Mouth Is!

Manchester (UK)- (SatireWorld.com) ” Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound and now Super Lubricated!” Graphene is now the Super Condom developed by progressives to ease the pain of ObamaCare, Global Warming, EPA mandates, Harry Reid’s Nuclear Option and Debbie Wasserman Schultz.

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Obamacare: So Simple Even a Dog Gets It!

Quicksand, SC – (SatireWorld.com) Shortly after reading about how a Colorado resident was surprised to find that his dog qualified for a Gold Level Plan on the Obamacare website, I was not overly shocked to find that my Golden Retriever had also enrolled himself in the President’s signature plan despite the sites numerous complexities.

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Satire World Hooks up with Obamacare Navigator! Priceless!

South Side Chicago – (SatireWorld.com) Phone rings in background, answers, sounds of Jay-Z rapping in background, clinking of glasses, screams and multiple shots heard:

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Anthony Weiner Sticks Up (sic) Against Gun Control!

New York City, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Former NY Congressman Anthony (Tony for short) Weiner is busy reinventing himself as he attempts to rehabilitate his sticky image as he plans an eventual political comeback.

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Massive Iceberg Heading To Los Angeles!

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) A massive iceberg drifting from Antarctica could spell disaster for Los Angeles if it floats too far away from the continent.

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SW Quiz: If you believe these 10 Tenets You may be a Liberal!

Editor Bargis Tryhol sent the entire staff of Satire World out on the streets of Blue America to conduct a questionnaire on what makes a liberal a liberal in today’s Progressive America.

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Jackson/Sharpton Claim Calling Obamacare Site a “Black Hole” Racist!

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) Professional Race Hustlers Jesse Jackson Sr. (Jr. is still in jail), and Al Sharpton joined hands today against who they called ‘honkies, crackers, and tea party arsonists’ who were ‘too dumb to even navigate the Obamacare site.’

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Major Newspaper Calls Obama ‘A Liar On Par With Nixon’

Newark, NJ – via AP The Star-Ledger, the largest newspaper in New Jersey, endorsed President Barack Obama for re-election last October. A little more than a year later, the paper’s editorial board has drawn parallels with Obama and Richard Nixon. Specifically, the newspaper cited his widely disputed statements on Obamacare, the National Security Agency’s spying […]

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Shock! Congress Finds out LOCKJAW Cure Not Covered Under ObamaScare!

Capitol Hill – (SatireWorld.com) During the questioning of Secretary ‘Kitty’ Sebelius, the rising late night star on Saturday Night Live, Congress was SHOCKED to find out that LOCKJAW is a preexisting condition not covered by Obama’s signature Cluster F*** health care mandate!

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Obama, the Man who claimed he had all the answers , now claims he forgot the question!

The White House – (SatireWorld.com) “You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, and you can fool a majority of the people at least twice if you claim you know everything that’s good for them.” Valerie Jarrett 2013 Barack Hussein Obama, the progressives’ […]

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Nigerian ‘ObamaScare’ Website Up and Running: Enrolls 2 M Low Info Voters in 15 Minutes!

The White House – (SatireWorld.com) White House officials retreated under their desks late today, and a Presser on the latest update on the Obamacare website was cancelled after it was revealed Nigeria has enrolled more US citizens in 15 minutes than Sebelius has in almost 4 weeks in the continuing Obama Train Wreck!

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Unions & Low Info Voters Now singing ‘The Low-Booty Blues’ after Bam’s Train Wreck Health Law!

Congressional Chorus: bombom, doo wop
bombom, doo wop
bombom, doo wop doot doot, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm

 Joe Wilson was right!

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Under Obamacare Doctors and Hospitals Demanding Pre-Payment of Deductibles before Treatment is Given

via Breitbart The rocky rollout of Obamacare isn’t limited to website problems. According to a report from Bloomberg, many doctors and clinics are now demanding that people pay the entire deductible on their insurance before they will be seen!

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Democratic Liberals Ban Heterosexual Relations

Washington DC- (SatireWotrld.com “We have to pass ObamaCare to find out what’s in it!” Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi’s (D-CA) inane phrase once again comes home to bite the average US citizen in the butt.

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BREAKING: POTUS rushed to hospital after serious miscalculation leads to epic fall!

Walter Reed Hospital, MD – (SatitreWorld.com) White House spokes-personage Jay Blarney (sic) admitted under intense questioning by SW Investigative reporter Philbert of Maryland, (POM), that President Obama was taken by ambulance to Walter Reed Army Hospital after ‘a very painful, embarrassing, and possible fatal blow to his legacy as the Deceiver in Chief.’

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Obama points to One Bright Spot after Health Care Exchanges Open and FREEZE! Cites ‘unprecedented” enrollment in Mexico City and only 12 beheadings!

ATT00001 Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Despite the government enlisting furloughed postal workers, White House Janitors, Obama Phone distributors, and prisoners on ‘early release’, the ObamaKare Exchanges were off to a dysfunctional start everywhere except in Mexico according an Al-Zazerra report from Rachel Maddow.

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Dr. Mengele Addresses College Students on his great Medical Experiment: ObamaKare!

Baltimore, MD – (SatireWorld.com) Barack Obama appeared before the only type of crowd he’s comfortable bullshitting, community college students in Maryland (you listening POM?) to take a victory lap about his new medical program which is rolling out in 5 days…even though the death panels and regrouped abortion clinics are not ready to pull the […]

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