ArchivesTag : pippa middleton
New U.S. Ambassador Richard Simmons Wears Pippa Wedding Dress Knock-Off For First Meeting With Queen
London (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Richard Simmons, the fitness guru who is the new United States Ambassador to England, wore a discount retailer brand knock off of the famous Pippa Middleton Maid of Honour Dress for his first meeting with Queen Elizabeth II. The Ambassador, who also wore pearls and matching white gloves, said that he [...]
Full StoryThrockmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column” (Special Olympics Edition)
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I seen lots of Chinese swimmers and divers with flesh covered duct tape on their backs and arms and legs. Do you know why they are wearing this?
Full StoryLondon Announces Plan To Fund Olympics By Having Pippa Middleton Mud Wrestle Against Ivana Phuque
London(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) The London Olympics, which are currently running a deficit of hundreds of millions of Euros, may soon be profitable. The London Olympic Organizing Committee has announced plans for a special, pay per view event to be held one week before the Opening Ceremonies. That night, Pippa “the ass” Middleton will mud wrestle [...]
Full StoryKate Middleton to appear on front cover of Russian ‘vogue’ magazine
Bloodyvostock – (SatireWorld.com) Siberian Tractor and Agricultural Haulage News Magazine has yet to confirm reports tit (sic) has secured exclusive rights to a picture of Kate Middelton (Ed: who she?) to grace the front cover of its national bra-ssica harvest edition in November.
Full StoryFranklin Mint Says Pippa Middleton Butt Plate Is Best Selling In Their Kate Middleton Collection
London, England – (SatireWorld.com) The Franklin Mint recently released a series of commemmorative plates on the recent Royal Wedding, entitled the Kate Middleton Collection. Despite pictures of Kate in her wedding dress and the Royal Couple together, the top selling plate in the series is the one with Pippa Middleton’s ass while wearing her white [...]
Full StoryHugh Hefner Offers Pippa Middleton Ten Million Dollars To Appear in Playboy
The Playboy Mansion – (SatireWorld.com) Playboy owner and founder Hugh Hefner has offered “flavor of the month” Pippa Middleton ten million dollars to appear in his magazine. Pippa became famous for her posterior when she served at the recent royal wedding of her sister, Kate Middleton, to Prince William of England. Miss Middleton, her white [...]
Full StoryPippa Middleton Bridesmaid Gowns Outselling Kate Middleton Wedding Gowns
London, UK – (SatireWorld.com) Bridal shops around the world stocked up on knock-off versions of the Kate Middleton Wedding Gown as they anticipated sales of the product to be very high in the wake of the royal wedding. These dresses, however, are gathering dust as it is the Maid of Honor/Bridesmaid gown worn by Pippa [...]
Full StoryMegan Fox Confesses Seeing Pippa Middleton’s Butt Made Her Realize She’s Gay
Transformerland – (SatireWorld.com) Megan Fox admitted that she has just entered and then quickly come out of the closet. The young star of the Transformers movies revealed to reporters yesterday that she is gay. “It was when I was watching the royal wedding that this all came to mind. I couldn’t keep my eyes off [...]
Full StoryRosie O’Donnell Breaks Oprah’s Couch, Screaming “I’m In Love With Pippa Middleton!”
HARPO Studios, Chicago – (SatireWorld.com) Rosie O’Donnell had to take Oprah Winfrey furniture shopping for a new couch after the 400 lb. comic/actress/talk show host broke the sofa on the set of Oprah’s show. The couch collapsed under the weight of Rosie, who was trying to use it like a trampoline (a la Ton Cruise) [...]
Full StoryAdam Lambert Buys Pippa Middleton’s Maid of Honour Dress
Tinseltown – (SatireWorld.com) Pop singer and former American Idol Finalist Adam Lambert has purchased Pippa Middleton’s famous white dress from the recent Royal Wedding. The dress, which placed emphasis on Pippa’s posterior, made her ass into a household name and made her the latest pin-up on the walls of teenage boys. She wore it at [...]
Full StoryNigella Lawson Purchases Pippa Middleton’s White Dress At Charity Auction
London, England – (SatireWorld.com) Critics are saying ‘it will be a tight squeeze,’ but Nigella Lawson won the bid for perhaps the most famous white dress in history. Fresh from the royal laundry, Pippa Middleton decided to auction off her famous royal bridesmaid dress in an effort to raise money for Botox treatments to help [...]
Full StoryNew Bride Kate Confesses Buckingham Balcony French Kiss Grossed Her Out
Buckingham Palace, England – (SatireWorld.com) Prince William is already on the outs with wife Kate after a Buckingham Palace balconey kiss grossed her completely out. “I was like, so grossed I couldn’t drink anything but hot water afterwards!”
Full StoryTV Reruns Of Pippa Middleton’s Wedding Walk Distract Guards During Osama Bin Laden’s Final Moments
Yabadabado, Pakistan – (SatireWorld.com) Special operation teams of US Navy SEALS broadcast reruns of Pippa Middleton’s famous walk into Westminster Abbey as a means to distract compound gurds during the final moments before a helicopter insertion of up to 24 heavily armed special forces commandos. Team leaders found several overturned television sets still tuned into [...]
Full StoryDallas Cowboys Select Pippa Middleton In NFL Draft To Be On Cheerleading Squad
Dallas, TX – (SatireWorld.com) With the ninth pick in the eight round of the NFL draft, the *Dallas Cowboys* selected Pippa Middleton. She was not chosen to be a tight end or a punter or a cornerback. In fact, she had not even played NCAA football or even opted in to the draft. The *Cowboys* [...]
Full StoryWedding Guest With X-Ray Vision Glasses Arrested After Compaint From Pippa Middleton
Westminster Abbey, London – (SatireWorld.com) During the procession of bride Kate Middleton, Baron Ilford Montbatten was quietly escorted from the main gallery of Westminster Abbey after a complaint was lodged against him with the Metropolitan Police. The complaint was signaled to officers by Pippa Middleton, the bride’s sister and Maid of Honor. Pippa said she [...]
Full StoryMariah Carey Has Twins, Names One Of The Babies After Pippa Middleton
Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are the proud parents of twins (one boy and one girl). The family is doing well and should be going home shortly from an undisclosed L.A. Hospital. Cannon announced to the press that his wife and children were fine, that he was happy, and that [...]
Full StoryPope John Paul II Beautified In Rome
Rome, Italy – (SatireWorld.com) Pope John Paul II, leader of the Catholic Church for over a quarter of a century, was finally beautified in Rome. Beautificiation is the process where people who are alive decide that a dead person is actually a saint, and elevate them to that level through religious ceremony.
Full StoryUS Postal Service To Issue Special Pippa Middleton Postage Stamp
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The Postal Service Postmaster General, Melvis P. Phelps, introduced the new Pippa Middleton Rearend view Postage Stamp to a mostly stunned and open mouthed crowd of reporters. Over the hushed crowd, he immediately tried to explain the importance of bringing newer, more youthful stamp collectors and users into the US Postal [...]
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