ArchivesTag : politics

Trump: Hillary’s Back Injury Due To Kick Starting Her Vibrator

Trump Tower, New York City – (satireworld.com) At a Wednesday press conference Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump addressed his concerns about his opponent’s health and vitality and especially her ability to govern 24/7 without succumbing to bouts of pain in which she might require doses of powerful medications which he felt could cloud good judgement […]

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Leaker of Panama Papers Revealed to be David Lee Roth

PANAMA – (satireworld.com) The former lead singer of Van Halen, David Lee Roth, has rarely been intertwined in international affairs, but now the musician is coming clean about the controversy known as “The Panama Papers.”

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Hope For Bernie Saunders Supporters As Science Develops Drop-in Mini Brains

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Tiny, rolling balls of brain cells knocking around in a lab may one day help keep Bernie Saunders supporters from losing their place while reading the back of cereal boxes, staring at shiny objects, and other attention robbing activities that quickly spiral out of control causing deeply troubling illusions of winning […]

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It’s ‘Madder Than Hell’ Week In Washington, DC

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) The fallout from the recent and ongoing Veterans Administration scandal has surfaced at the White House, after White House chief of staff says President Barack Obama is “madder than hell” about reports of treatment delays at veterans’ hospitals across the country.

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Are You A Gullible Media Lapdog Who Believes Everything You Read? Take Our Quiz!

The SatireWorld Political Quiz The rules are simple. We will give you a quote and you have to guess what great American said it. Your four choices are President Barack Obama, Ex-President George W. Bush, former Vice President Dan Quayle, or former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. Good Luck…

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Republican Presidential Field in Disarray After Graham, Pataki Exit

NEW YORK – (satireworld.com) The Republican presidential field is scrambling this week to find a way forward after the shocking, recent departures of John McCain’s BFF, Lindsey Graham, and former New York governor George Pataki. The announcements also crushed the dreams of millions who were hoping to see the first male president named Lindsey.

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Obama vows to increase unemployment to curb workplace violence!!

The White House – (satireworld.com) On his national address scheduled for later in the day from the White House the President is ready to unleash his latest plan to thwart ISIS and radical terrorism by increasing American unemployment to reduce the amount of workplace violence blamed for the recent bloodbaths around America!

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Howard Beale…The ‘Prophet of 1976’ Still Makes Sense For 2016!

satireworld.com Howard Beale way back in 1976 said….. “I don’t have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It’s like a depression. Everybody’s out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel’s worth, banks are going bust, shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter.”

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Detroit Doubles as Hell For “World’s Largest Public Satanic Ceremony”

DETROIT – (satireworld.com) Hell was booked so they moved it to Detroit. In a city that is falling apart before the nation’s eyes, satanists will hold the biggest “public” ceremony honoring their belief system this country has ever seen. And by “public” we mean the exact location is being kept a secret and only ticket […]

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Hillary’s Test Results In; Allergic to Reporters, Everyday Americans

BROOKLYN  – (satireworld.com) The Hillary Clinton campaign has acknowledged what many have suspected – the former First Lady is allergic to journalists and American peasants. Skin tests were conducted at Johns Hopkins last week and the results were made public today. The diagnosis seems to explain Mrs. Clinton’s avoidance of all those not already within […]

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Jalapenoman’s Political Thoughts of the Day

My political thought for the day: (satireworld.com) Apparently, four people have announced their candidacy for the office of President in the 2016 elections: Democrat Clinton and Republicans Cruz, Rubio, and Paul. There may be more, but I am aware of those four.

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Boehner Promised Pelosi ‘Clean’ DHS Bill, Lied, Bill Covered in Raw Sewage

WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com) Everyone knows politics in Washington these days is dirty. Now we know just HOW dirty. House Speaker John Boehner said publicly that he would give the House Minority Leader Skeletor, aka Nancy Pelosi, a ‘clean’ bill to take up for a vote. But Pelosi was reminded again that you don’t always […]

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Obama Continues to Blame Bush

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Left wing Democrats have politicized the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) to a point where this organization will do or say anything to accuse the Republicans of a War on Women.

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Entire Congressional Black Caucus Taken Into Custody With ‘Hands Up’ Gesture

WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com) All members of the Congressional Black Caucus (CBC) were taken into custody without incident this morning after surrendering together on the House floor.  All members showed the “Hands Up, Don’t Shoot” gesture made popular in the wake of the Ferguson protests.

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Barack Obama: The Short-Term Memory President

BRISBANE, AU – (satireworld.com) While still on his Asian capitulation tour, President Obama was asked about the Jonathan Gruber PR mess as it relates to Obamacare. The President once again said this morning that he had just been briefed on the issue today. “Just found out about this today” should have been the slogan for […]

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Man Takes Race Card to Pawn Shop, Leaves Empty Handed

BALTIMORE, MD – (satireworld.com) Yesterday, a man walked into a local pawn shop in hopes of cashing in a race card he found lying around, only to be disappointed to find out the thing was worthless. The pawn shop owner tells us race cards have been so overplayed in recent years that they have lost […]

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UNREMORSEFUL

UNREMORSEFUL CHAPTER ONE The big oak door opened silently on it’s well oiled 6” brass hinges, the only sound within the richly appointed study being a crackling fire in the massive stone fireplace soaring to the beamed oaken ceiling. There was the smell of seasoned wood, well oiled leather, a pungent cigar and more than […]

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Democratic Mafia Now Threatening Supporters to Vote, Or Else

CHICAGO, IL – (satireworld.com) Political robo-calls, emails, and texts are enough to drive any person insane. Both parties are going overboard in advance of the midterm elections next week. But with desperation setting in, the Democratic machine is taking it to a whole new level with their supporters.

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Sleep Easier America…Obama Nominates Dr. Strangelove New Ebola Czar

The Pentagon – (satireworld.com) Today, the Obama administration appointed Dr. Strangelove to be “Ebola Czar”. Strangelove, who once worked for the Pentagon as Chief Science Adviser in the 1960’s, is still vibrant and unconventional as he was 50 some years ago says Gen. Jack D. Ripper of the Strategic Air Command. Strangeloves’s signature wheelchair and […]

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White House, CDC Postpone Getting Serious About Ebola Until After Midterms

WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com) Add ‘stopping the Ebola crisis’ to the list of things the current administration and the CDC ( Crappy Disease Control), an agency which has been nearly useless to this point in helping to contain the spread of Ebola, are putting off taking seriously until after the midterm elections. Both entities have […]

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Democrats Quarantine Obama Virus For Midterm Elections

CHARLOTTE, NC – (satireworld.com) It has become apparent Democrats have decided that their political futures are in enough peril in the upcoming midterm elections that it is in their best interest to quarantine the bothersome Obama virus until after the elections. Many top Democrat politicians have been going through a decontamination process to persuade their […]

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Upcoming Marriage Threatens to Turn Red Family Blue

Midland, TX – (satireworld.com) Tensions are rising throughout the Wilson clan, based in this west Texas city, as the upcoming marriage of Wilson son, Karl, to one Meredith Barker, from nearby Odessa, threaten to turn the longtime Republican family blue for the first time in decades. The wedding will take place in about a month […]

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Jersey shore middle schooler suspended for selling Taylor Ham Sandwiches to starving classmates!

Allenhurst, NJ – (satireworld,.com) An enterprising 8th grade student from Allenhurst, NJ made the news this week after being suspended from Oakhurst Grammar School for trying to help out a few of his friends that were starving thanks to Michelle Obama’s Draconian school lunch mandate.

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Pelosi Finally Gets Committed After Saying ‘GOP Winning Senate Would End Civilization’

San Francisco, CA – (satireworld.com) House Minority leader Nancy Pelosi has finally been committed to the famous Moorview Institute for her own good, as well as the benefit of the rest of society. All that is really known about the facility is that it is located in California, is a maximum security institution, and is […]

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Several Members of John Kerry’s Security Detail Drop Dead From Boredom

Jerusalem – (satireworld.com) Most people would assume that working in a Secret Service position for a high ranking government official would be one of the most adrenaline-filled, exciting jobs one could ever have. But when that high ranking government official happens to be John Kerry, who served in Vietnam, the job can be anything but […]

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Zingers: Misc.

(satireworld.com)] Off and on, for about six years, I wrote “snippets” for a different humor website. These were also easy one or two line jokes with a simple set up, followed by a punch line. Some people call these zingers or and others call them different names.

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Zingers: Politics and Government

(satireworld.com) Off and on, for about six years, I wrote “snippets” for a different humor website. These were also easy one or two line jokes with a simple set up, followed by a punch line. Some people call these zingers or and others call them different names.

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Abuse of Power? Obama caught using drones to deliver Pizzas at 3 a.m. to White House!

The White House – (satireworld.com) In yet another instance of the failure of Michelle’s mandate against Obesity, and abuse of power by the Messiah in Chief, SW is now able to report that Barry’s cravings for ‘soul food’ is so great, he has been ordering Chicago Style Pizza from Cicero, Il. delivered by government drones […]

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John Boehner Found Mummified in Tanning Bed

Washington D.C. – (satireworld.com) Speaker of the House, John Boehner, known for his orange hue and lack of spine when it comes to politics, was found this weekend in a dried-out, mummified state inside a tanning bed at a local salon.

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White House Laments Roosevelt Didn’t Have #HitlerSucks in 1940’s, Could Have Shortened War

Washington D.C. – (satireworld.com) Sixteen year-old White House Spokesman, Jay Carney, commented in today’s presidential press briefing that it was a shame the Roosevelt administration didn’t have the benefit of hashtags in the early days of World War II so they could have tweeted some strongly worded messages that could have stopped the dictator in […]

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