ArchivesTag : politics

Jalapenoman’s Political Thoughts of the Day

My political thought for the day: (satireworld.com) Apparently, four people have announced their candidacy for the office of President in the 2016 elections: Democrat Clinton and Republicans Cruz, Rubio, and Paul. There may be more, but I am aware of those four.

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Boehner Promised Pelosi ‘Clean’ DHS Bill, Lied, Bill Covered in Raw Sewage

WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com) Everyone knows politics in Washington these days is dirty. Now we know just HOW dirty. House Speaker John Boehner said publicly that he would give the House Minority Leader Skeletor, aka Nancy Pelosi, a ‘clean’ bill to take up for a vote. But Pelosi was reminded again that you don’t always […]

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Obama Continues to Blame Bush

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Left wing Democrats have politicized the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) to a point where this organization will do or say anything to accuse the Republicans of a War on Women.

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Entire Congressional Black Caucus Taken Into Custody With ‘Hands Up’ Gesture

WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com) All members of the Congressional Black Caucus (CBC) were taken into custody without incident this morning after surrendering together on the House floor.  All members showed the “Hands Up, Don’t Shoot” gesture made popular in the wake of the Ferguson protests.

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Barack Obama: The Short-Term Memory President

BRISBANE, AU – (satireworld.com) While still on his Asian capitulation tour, President Obama was asked about the Jonathan Gruber PR mess as it relates to Obamacare. The President once again said this morning that he had just been briefed on the issue today. “Just found out about this today” should have been the slogan for […]

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Man Takes Race Card to Pawn Shop, Leaves Empty Handed

BALTIMORE, MD – (satireworld.com) Yesterday, a man walked into a local pawn shop in hopes of cashing in a race card he found lying around, only to be disappointed to find out the thing was worthless. The pawn shop owner tells us race cards have been so overplayed in recent years that they have lost […]

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UNREMORSEFUL

UNREMORSEFUL CHAPTER ONE The big oak door opened silently on it’s well oiled 6” brass hinges, the only sound within the richly appointed study being a crackling fire in the massive stone fireplace soaring to the beamed oaken ceiling. There was the smell of seasoned wood, well oiled leather, a pungent cigar and more than […]

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Democratic Mafia Now Threatening Supporters to Vote, Or Else

CHICAGO, IL – (satireworld.com) Political robo-calls, emails, and texts are enough to drive any person insane. Both parties are going overboard in advance of the midterm elections next week. But with desperation setting in, the Democratic machine is taking it to a whole new level with their supporters.

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Sleep Easier America…Obama Nominates Dr. Strangelove New Ebola Czar

The Pentagon – (satireworld.com) Today, the Obama administration appointed Dr. Strangelove to be “Ebola Czar”. Strangelove, who once worked for the Pentagon as Chief Science Adviser in the 1960’s, is still vibrant and unconventional as he was 50 some years ago says Gen. Jack D. Ripper of the Strategic Air Command. Strangeloves’s signature wheelchair and […]

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White House, CDC Postpone Getting Serious About Ebola Until After Midterms

WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com) Add ‘stopping the Ebola crisis’ to the list of things the current administration and the CDC ( Crappy Disease Control), an agency which has been nearly useless to this point in helping to contain the spread of Ebola, are putting off taking seriously until after the midterm elections. Both entities have […]

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Democrats Quarantine Obama Virus For Midterm Elections

CHARLOTTE, NC – (satireworld.com) It has become apparent Democrats have decided that their political futures are in enough peril in the upcoming midterm elections that it is in their best interest to quarantine the bothersome Obama virus until after the elections. Many top Democrat politicians have been going through a decontamination process to persuade their […]

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Upcoming Marriage Threatens to Turn Red Family Blue

Midland, TX – (satireworld.com) Tensions are rising throughout the Wilson clan, based in this west Texas city, as the upcoming marriage of Wilson son, Karl, to one Meredith Barker, from nearby Odessa, threaten to turn the longtime Republican family blue for the first time in decades. The wedding will take place in about a month […]

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Jersey shore middle schooler suspended for selling Taylor Ham Sandwiches to starving classmates!

Allenhurst, NJ – (satireworld,.com) An enterprising 8th grade student from Allenhurst, NJ made the news this week after being suspended from Oakhurst Grammar School for trying to help out a few of his friends that were starving thanks to Michelle Obama’s Draconian school lunch mandate.

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Pelosi Finally Gets Committed After Saying ‘GOP Winning Senate Would End Civilization’

San Francisco, CA – (satireworld.com) House Minority leader Nancy Pelosi has finally been committed to the famous Moorview Institute for her own good, as well as the benefit of the rest of society. All that is really known about the facility is that it is located in California, is a maximum security institution, and is […]

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Several Members of John Kerry’s Security Detail Drop Dead From Boredom

Jerusalem – (satireworld.com) Most people would assume that working in a Secret Service position for a high ranking government official would be one of the most adrenaline-filled, exciting jobs one could ever have. But when that high ranking government official happens to be John Kerry, who served in Vietnam, the job can be anything but […]

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Zingers: Misc.

(satireworld.com)] Off and on, for about six years, I wrote “snippets” for a different humor website. These were also easy one or two line jokes with a simple set up, followed by a punch line. Some people call these zingers or and others call them different names.

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Zingers: Politics and Government

(satireworld.com) Off and on, for about six years, I wrote “snippets” for a different humor website. These were also easy one or two line jokes with a simple set up, followed by a punch line. Some people call these zingers or and others call them different names.

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Abuse of Power? Obama caught using drones to deliver Pizzas at 3 a.m. to White House!

The White House – (satireworld.com) In yet another instance of the failure of Michelle’s mandate against Obesity, and abuse of power by the Messiah in Chief, SW is now able to report that Barry’s cravings for ‘soul food’ is so great, he has been ordering Chicago Style Pizza from Cicero, Il. delivered by government drones […]

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John Boehner Found Mummified in Tanning Bed

Washington D.C. – (satireworld.com) Speaker of the House, John Boehner, known for his orange hue and lack of spine when it comes to politics, was found this weekend in a dried-out, mummified state inside a tanning bed at a local salon.

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White House Laments Roosevelt Didn’t Have #HitlerSucks in 1940’s, Could Have Shortened War

Washington D.C. – (satireworld.com) Sixteen year-old White House Spokesman, Jay Carney, commented in today’s presidential press briefing that it was a shame the Roosevelt administration didn’t have the benefit of hashtags in the early days of World War II so they could have tweeted some strongly worded messages that could have stopped the dictator in […]

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‘American Idol’ Becomes Proving Ground for Future Politicians After Aiken Congressional Run

Los Angeles – (satireworld.com) Ryan Seacrest announced this morning that, due to former American Idol finalist Clay Aiken’s close results in his bid to win a congressional seat in North Carolina, the show would transition to a clearinghouse for all future politicians. “These kids can sing so why shouldn’t they lead our country too?”

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Clay Aiken Insults Republicans, Whites, and Mormons

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Clay Aiken showed how much he believes in his charity, The National Inclusion Project, by attempting to exclude Whites, Mormons, and Republicans. The openly gay singer said that he was taking a drink every time he saw a black at the Republican National Convention and was as sober as Mormon.

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Van Jones Blames Global Warming for Changed Benghazi Talking Points

Atlanta – (satireworld.com) Van Jones, former Green Czar for the Obama administration and current vacant zombie on CNN’s Crossfire, blamed Global Warming for the tampered with talking points regarding the Benghazi attack in 2012. He completely dismissed any nefarious involvement by Hillary Clinton or Susan Rice in the controversy.

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Koch Bros. Buy Democrat Party, Harry Reid Short Circuits

Washington, D.C. – (satireworld.com) The Koch Brothers have had it with Harry Reid, the Senate Majority Leader from Nevada, and his constant railing against the brothers every time he props himself up against the podium on the floor of the Senate to spew asinine comments in recent months. So they bought the Democrat Party.

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Obama Pushes Back Holidays Until After Election

Washington, D.C. – (satireworld.com) On Friday, President Obama pushed back making a decision on the long debated Keystone XL Pipeline until after the upcoming 2014 midterm elections. Worried about upsetting his core constituencies, Mr. Obama decided that while he had his pen and phone out would make a few other executive decisions as well.

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Harry Reid Takes on Bundy Family, Al says “Let’s Rock”

Las Vegas, Nevada – (satireworld.com) Senate Majority leader Harry Reid (D-NV) has doubled down on his name calling by referring to the Bundy family as ‘domestic terrorists’ after the Bundy home became a lightning rod for controversy involving unpaid taxes.

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Report: 88% of Liberal Democrats Test Positive For Neanderthal Genes

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Recent government sponsored research has shown at least one-fifth of the regressive Neanderthal genome may lurk within modern humans, influencing the skin, hair, political leanings, and mental diseases some people have today, researchers say.

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Even With Government in Financial Crisis, Obama Hires New Czars

Washington,DC – (SatireWorld.com) Even with the government in financial crisis, President Barack Obama announced the appointment of several new Czars to work with his cabinet. His Czar posts come with a Washington D.C. office, a $250k per year salary, a secretary (paid), an executive assistant (paid), an intern (paid), a driver (paid), and an expense […]

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‘Horse Face’ Kerry Announces He’s Bolting MA Due to Taxes; Popularity Sinks in New Gallup Poll!

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) Hot on the hooves of today’s announcement that Berkshire Hathaway and Warren Buffet are paying a $20 premium to acquire the Heinz empire, Secretary of State John Kerry announced he would be leaving his official residence in the Commonwealth behind, in part due to the $670,000 windfall impacting his stock portfolio […]

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So, Ever Wonder How The Mind Of A Congressional Democrat Really Works?

Satire World Campsite…. Gather round kiddies and old Uncle Bargis is going to tell you a bed time tale about how evil Democrats have really screwed up politics in the good old USA!

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