ArchivesTag : politics

John Boehner Found Mummified in Tanning Bed

Washington D.C. – (satireworld.com) Speaker of the House, John Boehner, known for his orange hue and lack of spine when it comes to politics, was found this weekend in a dried-out, mummified state inside a tanning bed at a local salon.

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White House Laments Roosevelt Didn’t Have #HitlerSucks in 1940’s, Could Have Shortened War

Washington D.C. – (satireworld.com) Sixteen year-old White House Spokesman, Jay Carney, commented in today’s presidential press briefing that it was a shame the Roosevelt administration didn’t have the benefit of hashtags in the early days of World War II so they could have tweeted some strongly worded messages that could have stopped the dictator in […]

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‘American Idol’ Becomes Proving Ground for Future Politicians After Aiken Congressional Run

Los Angeles – (satireworld.com) Ryan Seacrest announced this morning that, due to former American Idol finalist Clay Aiken’s close results in his bid to win a congressional seat in North Carolina, the show would transition to a clearinghouse for all future politicians. “These kids can sing so why shouldn’t they lead our country too?”

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Clay Aiken Insults Republicans, Whites, and Mormons

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Clay Aiken showed how much he believes in his charity, The National Inclusion Project, by attempting to exclude Whites, Mormons, and Republicans. The openly gay singer said that he was taking a drink every time he saw a black at the Republican National Convention and was as sober as Mormon.

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Van Jones Blames Global Warming for Changed Benghazi Talking Points

Atlanta – (satireworld.com) Van Jones, former Green Czar for the Obama administration and current vacant zombie on CNN’s Crossfire, blamed Global Warming for the tampered with talking points regarding the Benghazi attack in 2012. He completely dismissed any nefarious involvement by Hillary Clinton or Susan Rice in the controversy.

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Koch Bros. Buy Democrat Party, Harry Reid Short Circuits

Washington, D.C. – (satireworld.com) The Koch Brothers have had it with Harry Reid, the Senate Majority Leader from Nevada, and his constant railing against the brothers every time he props himself up against the podium on the floor of the Senate to spew asinine comments in recent months. So they bought the Democrat Party.

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Obama Pushes Back Holidays Until After Election

Washington, D.C. – (satireworld.com) On Friday, President Obama pushed back making a decision on the long debated Keystone XL Pipeline until after the upcoming 2014 midterm elections. Worried about upsetting his core constituencies, Mr. Obama decided that while he had his pen and phone out would make a few other executive decisions as well.

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Harry Reid Takes on Bundy Family, Al says “Let’s Rock”

Las Vegas, Nevada – (satireworld.com) Senate Majority leader Harry Reid (D-NV) has doubled down on his name calling by referring to the Bundy family as ‘domestic terrorists’ after the Bundy home became a lightning rod for controversy involving unpaid taxes.

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Report: 88% of Liberal Democrats Test Positive For Neanderthal Genes

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Recent government sponsored research has shown at least one-fifth of the regressive Neanderthal genome may lurk within modern humans, influencing the skin, hair, political leanings, and mental diseases some people have today, researchers say.

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Even With Government in Financial Crisis, Obama Hires New Czars

Washington,DC – (SatireWorld.com) Even with the government in financial crisis, President Barack Obama announced the appointment of several new Czars to work with his cabinet. His Czar posts come with a Washington D.C. office, a $250k per year salary, a secretary (paid), an executive assistant (paid), an intern (paid), a driver (paid), and an expense […]

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‘Horse Face’ Kerry Announces He’s Bolting MA Due to Taxes; Popularity Sinks in New Gallup Poll!

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) Hot on the hooves of today’s announcement that Berkshire Hathaway and Warren Buffet are paying a $20 premium to acquire the Heinz empire, Secretary of State John Kerry announced he would be leaving his official residence in the Commonwealth behind, in part due to the $670,000 windfall impacting his stock portfolio […]

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So, Ever Wonder How The Mind Of A Congressional Democrat Really Works?

Satire World Campsite…. Gather round kiddies and old Uncle Bargis is going to tell you a bed time tale about how evil Democrats have really screwed up politics in the good old USA!

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America the Grotesque: Winning Ugly!

On The Park Bench With CAPTAIN AMERICA – (SatireWorld.com) There’s not much you can say about your country when it is hi jacked by know-nothing academics, screaming liberal ‘journalists’, dishonest incumbents, and 50% of the electorate who chose not to read, listen, absorb, or care about the facts in the most important election since the […]

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‘The World’s Most Interesting Man’ Talks Dirty Politics and Why He Won’t Debate

Coast of Paraguay – (satireworld.com) Fernando Monte Verde retired a number of years ago from a successful business career and at that time would have never believed he would one day be the envy of every male on the planet! But today Fernando certainly is that man.

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Obama Now Links Demise of Easter Island to Bain Capital and Flesh Eating Conservative Bacteria!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Pulling out all the stops on his assault against capitalism in the run up to his re-immaculation, President Obama said Bain Capital was the major reason Easter Island inhabitants disappeared after they were ‘raped and plundered by blood sucking racist investors, most of whom were probably Mormons!”

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Too Big To Fail: Major Banks Prop Up Yuckerberger Farcebook IPO Scam!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The Federal Reserve is quietly working behind the scenes to ready itself to bail out three of the World’s largest banks after they went out on a limb to protect their get rich quick scheme centered around another Internet smoke and mirror ill advised IPO.

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Atlantic Beach SC Names Michelle Obama to Lead Black Bike Week Booty Parade!

Atlantic Beach, SC – (SatireWorld.com) Financially bankrupt, politically corrupt, and dysfunctional Atlantic Beach, SC has pulled out all the stops this year to insure that the annual ‘Black Bike Week’ is not only successful, but finally turns a ‘profit’ by naming the First Couple as Honorary Marshals of the motorcycle festival for 2016.

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Newt Bombshell: I May Run for the Democratic Nomination!

On the campaign trail…. -(SatireWorld.com) Newt Gingrich, never one to miss a beat or sense which way the wind is blowing, announced he is seriously considering taking on Barry Obama for the Democratic Presidential nomination.

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Extreme Makeover: Obama Urged to Run as White Capitalist Presbyterian with Hair in Run Up To Election!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Leaks emanating from behind closed doors of President Obama’s inner sanctum are pointing to a complete makeover for the President as recent polls indicate his popularity is so low even Democratic Congressman Henry “Bugger” Waxman could defeat him in his own party primary!

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Hubris Travels in a Bus! Obama Photo Ops Cost Taxpayers Millions!

Libtard, Iowa – (SatireWorld.com) In a cloud of diesel smoke and a hearty “Saddle Up and Head ’em Out”, Barry Obama took to the open road on his 3 day political junket in a presidential cavalcade consisting of $3m worth of custom buses and a horde of support vehicles at taxpayer expense.

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Donald Trump Claims He’s Found Obama’s ‘Lost Birth Certificate’

New York, NY-(SatireWorld.com) Score one for The Donald! After months of frenzied investigations and a bevy of expensive private eyes shuttling across three continents, billionaire Donald Trump claims he’s found Barack Obama’s real birth certificate and the results aren’t pretty.

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Presidential Candidate Cletus Goshdarnit Gives Views On Current Topics

Clovis, NM-(SatireWorld.com) Cletus Goshdarnit, the first candidate to announce a bid for the Democratic Party Presidential Nomination in 2012, offered the following statements to the press. Goshdarnit, who was speaking from a fund raising dinner at the Dairy Queen on Highway 70 in Clovis, New Mexico, weighed in on several topics for local supporters and […]

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Thanks to Obama, New Poll Places US Ahead of Britain as “Most Hated Country!”

Washington, DC-(SatireWorld.com) It took over 6 centuries for Britain to be universally hated according to apologist PM Dave Cameron, but it was announced today by an independent international Think Tank President Barry Obama’s reign only took 14 1/2 months to surpass the Brits and make America ‘the country you most love to hate.”

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France Shoots Down Unarmed Libyan Plane, Declares Victory, Goes Home!

Paris, France-(SatireWorld.com) French President Nicholas Sarkozy addressing an apathetic crowd estimated at around 350 on prayer rugs at the Eiffel Tower, shouted “We finally won one!” as he announced France was now pulling out of Libya and declaring ‘a glorious victory restoring French Honor!”

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Glenn Beck, “Sarah Palin will give birth to the man who will lead humanity’s war against Chicago’s Democrat Machine.”

Chicago, IL – (satireworld.com) Futurist and political prophet Glenn Beck revealed that the Sarah Conner character in the Terminator series was taken from real life and is very prophetic as to what real events will be like in the next 20 years, especially in Chicago…The unexpected Rise of the Democrat Machines. According to FOXs Glenn […]

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