ArchivesTag : sex
Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, My boyfriend and I want to “do it,” but I don’t want to get knocked up. They give out these free condoms down at the county clinic, but everyone who uses them says that they usually leak or break and must be fifty years old. Cletus says that if we “go [...]
Full StoryNo Viagra, No Piece!
Dallas,Texas – (SatireWorld.com) The Union of Transit Workers in Dallas are at it again as they are not getting the promised daily doses of Viagra that was agreed upon, to settle their possible walk-out that would bring the city to a halt.
Full StoryJersey Shore’s Snooki Joins Moammar Gaddafi’s Army
Seaside Heights, NJ-(SatireWorld.com) The parents of popular reality star Snooki appealed to the government of Libya today, in an effort to get Colonel Gaddafi to send their daughter home before she gets hurt or hurts someone. The diminative Snooki, the main cast member of the MTV reality show ‘Jersey Shore,’ reportedly took a hiatus from [...]
Full StoryClint Eastwood’s ‘Dirty Harry Potter’ Sets Box Office Record
San Francisco, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Claiming a ‘one last tme at bat,’ the 74 year old ‘Dirty’ Harry Potter has come out of retirement and is back on San Francisco’s police force as the city’s premier enforcer of street justice against punks. Famous for his one-liner…’Go Ahead..Make My Day You Hogwart Piece Of Shit,’ Dirty [...]
Full StoryWorld’s Most Interesting Man Talks About Spending Yacht Time With Pippa Middleton
Galveston Bay, Texas –(SatireWorld.com) Sunrise was still a few hours away and the sailing ship Conquest still had a bevy of young beauties aboard, though smartly covered up now against the cooling breeze off crowded Galveston bay. The owner/captain Fernando Monte Verde took a few minutes to talk with us about living life as ‘The [...]
Full Story‘The World’s Most Interesting Man’ Talks About Sex
Capetown, South Africa – (SatireWorld.com) The sailing vessel Conquest no sooner tied up to the dock in Capetown, when our reporter Walter Bucket walked aboard for an interview with Fernando Monte Verde, otherwise known as…The World’s Most Interesting Man.
Full StoryBiker Jesse James claims He Has His Own Hardon Collider And It Works Good With Chicks
Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Monster Garage dude and motorcycle builder Jesse James has entered the quark race in the effort to further define matter and anti-matter just like the CERN Hardon Collider in Switzerland. In fact, James claims it doesn’t really matter at all, just as long as he can get laid at least [...]
Full StoryJersey Shore’s Snooki Reveals Long Term Affair With IMF Chairman DSK
Seaside, New Jersey – (SatireWorld.com) Nicole ‘Snooki’ Pelozzi had a secret. That is, until other cast members of MTV’s Jersey Shore tipped off reporters about Snooki’s long term affair with IMF chairman, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, or DSK as he’s known in Europe.
Full StoryWoman With A Face Like A Camel-Toe Real Popular At Bar Closing Time
Dallas, TX – (SatireWorld.com) The hare lip on 50 year old Mavis Blakely’s face was very large and the sight of it scared many eligible suitors away from her in her lifetime. Many thought it prevented her from living an otherwise normal life. But Mavis claims it has helped greatly in other ways….
Full StoryNavy SEALS: Bin Laden Had Nude Photos Of Pippa Middleton On His Computer Thumb Drives
Islamisbad, Pakistan – (SatireWorld.com) Computer experts have being pouring over the treasure trove of intelligence data taken from the Osama Bin Laden compound raid, recent data downloaded from the drives show extensive pornographic material, again proving the al Qeada leader was a dirty old man besides being a homicidal maniac.
Full StoryHapless Limey, Harold Worth, Spurned By Calcutta Officials Over Love His Interests
Calcutta, India – (SatireWorld.com) Polo, India’s only 2,000 pound male gorilla, is looking for some love. Despite an eight-year search for a mate, Polo remains a very lonely bachelor, and his Calcutta zoo keepers are making one final worldwide plea to find him a suitable sexual mate before his depression worsens.
Full StoryAl-Qeada Second-In-Command Ayman al-Zawahri Lays Claim To Bin Laden’s Blow-Up Doll Collection
Islamabad, Pakistan – (SatireWorld.com) Fleeing the sound of helicopters and gunfire, al-Qeada’s second-in-command, Egyptian Ayman al-Zawahri, ran for cover and safety as US Navy SEAL teams obliterated a carefully planned terrorist hideout hidden in plain view.
Full StoryPrince Andrew Talks Quaddaffy Into Stepping Down; For a Fee!
United Nations, NYC-(SatireWorld.com) After an all night session of ‘intense camel trading’, the UN announced today that Madman Muammar Quaddaffy has agreed to step down from leadership in Libya based on certain conditions hammered out by UK Trade Rep Prince Andrew and agreed to by the EU and former UK Prime Ministers Gordon Brown and [...]
Full StoryVisiting Senior Citizen Arrested After Bus Groping Incident
Branson, MO-(SatireWorld.com) A senior citizen bus trip from the Pleasant Sunsets Senior home in Springfield, IL to this popular tourist mecca in SW Missouri, caused some trouble for the retirees and a run in with the law as well.
Full StoryRob Pattinson Signs Twilight III Deal….Kristen Stewart Fired!
Hollywood, CA-(SatireWorld.com) Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattison planned to film their next feature film in Afghanistan. ‘Tales of the Taliban Vampires’ is expected to be released in 2011. In alignment with past vampire genre movies that have made Rob and Kristen rich and famous, producer Chris Rampage has announced the production start of his latest [...]
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