ArchivesTag : sex

Rosie O’Donnell Admits What She Did With Her Tuba “This One Time at Band Camp”

Fionna, NY – (satireworld.com) Former high school band member and tuba player Rosie O’Donnell admitted in casual conversation to others that she had a “sexual encounter” with her musical instrument while they were watching the 1999 teen comedy move “American Pie.”  In the movie, character Michelle says that “this one time, at band camp, I […]

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Hawaiian Restaurant Offers Free Lay With Every Dessert

Boing, HI – (satireworld.com) A typo is causing major problems for a Honolulu restaurant.  Keola’s Roast Pig is having problems honoring their offer of “a free lay with every dessert” as it was supposed to “a free leia (or lei) with every dessert.”  Restaurant owner Keola Paccuci is blaming the error on spellcheck, which does […]

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Senator Chuck Revealed to be Owner of Schumer’s Bloomers

Brooklyn, NY – (satireworld.com) The source of the Schumer family fortune has been found with the discovery that New York Democratic Senator Charles Ellis “Chuck” Schumer is secretly the owner of Schumer’s Bloomers, a woman’s lingerie store located throughout Western Europe.  Not only is the Senator the owner, but is also the President, founder, designer, […]

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Alyssa Milano Admits She Was Trying to Increase Her Fifteen Minutes of Fame

Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com) Actress Alyssa Milano, who has not been really relevant since starring in Charmed and Who’s the Boss, tried to reinvent her fifteen minutes of fame last week by appearing nearly topless at the Brett Kavanaugh Supreme Court Confirmation Hearings.  Milano, who stated that she was there to support the female accuser […]

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Unusual Cave Drawings Found In Sen. Diane Feinstein’s Cleavage

San Francisco, CA – (Satireworld.com) California Senator Diane Feinstein (D-CA) had a recent physical and reports of the odd medical findings were leaked to FOX News. Doctors discovered she is carrying historical artifacts that she never knew she had….Prehistoric cave drawings between her breasts!

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Bargis Tryhol…”I Had Sex With Justice Elena Kagan at an Arby’s Parking lot”

Dooberville, GA – (satireworld.com) As an almost perfect ending to what’s being called ‘Witch Hunt Wednesday,’ SatireWorld editor Bargis Tryhol has gone on public record saying that he ‘slipped the eel to’ Justice Elena Kagan back in 1982 while getting a mocha shake at a local Arbys!

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Breaking News! NY Times Reports Woman Who Claims a ‘Drunk Brett Kavanaugh Stiffed Me!’

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) As Senate Republicans press for a swift vote to confirm Brett Kavanaugh, President Trump’s nominee to the Supreme Court, Senate Democrats are investigating a new allegation of misconduct against Kavanaugh. The claim dates to the 1983-84 academic school year, when Kavanaugh was a freshman at Yale University and visited […]

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Ben & Jerry’s Founders Creating Democrat-Inspired Ice Cream Flavors to ‘Take Back Congress’

Concord, NH – (satireworld.com) The duo behind Ben & Jerry’s ice cream is hoping to “take back Congress” by creating Democrat-inspired flavors. Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield are teaming up with social justice organization MoveOn to create a contest to support seven progressive candidates ahead of the midterm elections.

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“Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong” Is New Iranian National Anthem

Tehran,Iran: Word from the Middle East today reports that the country of Iran has named a variation of the old Edsel’s doo-wop song as their new national anthem.  “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong,” a modified version of “Rama Lama Ding Dong,” will now be the country’s official song and will be played at the Olympics (should […]

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Remakes of Once Popular Television Shows To Be Updated Due To Political Correctness

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) There is talk of making the next James Bond into a black man.  The latest Battlestar Gallactica changed the gender of several characters (including Starbuck and Boomer).  The new Lost In Space remake has changed the race of one of the Robinson children, the gender of the doctor, and […]

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FBI Fingers Hillary Clinton In Surprise Vagina Probe

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Senior FBI investigators named ex-presidential candidate Hillary Clinton as a credible source in an ongoing look at election claims which used television ad bites to promote the Democratic party’s stance on certain controversial issues and uttering supposedly false charges against other candidates.

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International Diplomacy Latest: Canadian PM Trudeau ‘Named After Discredited Contraceptive Method’ Say Saudis

Ottawa, Canada -(SatireWorld.com) “Justin was conceived via the notorious Withdrawal Method of family planning,” Middle East geneticists claimed today amid an escalating Saudi-Canadian diplomatic spat, “that’s why he’s called Just-In, his Pa couldn’t get out in time.”

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Trump: ‘Hillary’s Health Issues Tied To Kick Starting Her Vibrator’

Des Moines, Iowa – (satireworld.com) At a Wednesday press conference in Iowa President Donald Trump addressed his concerns about his past opponent’s health and vitality and especially the reports she was wearing a medical alert device. He also questioned her ability to properly function without succumbing to bouts of pain in which she might require […]

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Arrest Made In Chevrolet Sex Case

Morgan, Kansas (satireworld.com) A Kansas man attempting to insert his penis into the tailpipe of a car had to be subdued with a stun gun after refusing to listen to police.

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Brit Thrift Store Chain Swamped With Pervert Staff

London – (SatireWorld.com) – Up to 23,000 suspected sex perverts are manning the tills at 650 state-sponsored thrift shops according to latest government figures released today.

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Popular Salad Dressing Dramatically Changes Spokane Man’s Life

Spokane, WA – (SatireWorld.com) It started out as a simple picnic in Twin Falls Park when Anthony ‘Rocco’ Pietro felt different than when he first arrived at the picnic area. That’s what lawyers are saying in a recent lawsuit filed against Krafty Foods where they claim Krafty’s Zesty Italian Salad Dressing made their client into […]

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Wedding Night Horror as Two Sets of Conjoined Twins Share Honeymoon Bed

San Antonio, Texas – (SatireWorld.com) For years the much anticipated Wedding Night consummation was on the minds of the Pissgum twins Percival and Buck and the Hilton twins, Daisy and Violet. Careful planning for modesty and romance became a delicate balance as just one of the two sets of conjoined twins planned to marry one […]

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Last Four Men NOT ACCUSED Of Sexual Harassment In US Come Forward

Holiday, New York -(satireworld.com) The last four men not accused of sexual harassment in the US held a joint press conference for the eager media today in Holiday, NY a sleepy Catskill Mountain resort town of 75 winter-time residents. During the time of flying accusations and hashtag #MeToo accusers, a search of arrest and complaint […]

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Sexual Groping Charge Leveled At Joe Biden

New London, Conn – (SatireWorld.com) State troopers from around the tri-state New England area vowed to never invite ex-Vice President Joe Biden to future Fraternal Order of Police conventions in fear of losing its core of rank and file membership over homosexual issues promoted by Biden in his hour-long speech to over 600 law enforcement […]

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Maxine Waters: “White Republican House Members Asked Me To Put On A Bikini”

Capitol Hill – (satireworld.com) Flustered and grim, Representative Maxine Waters took time out from her Impeach Donald Trump hearing to make new sexual charges against almost 280 Republican House of Representatives members who she says asked her to put on a bikini in violation of House Rules governing sexual harassment.

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Feds Admit Congressional Intelligence Breech Due To Alien UFO Link

NSA Headquarters, Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Agents at the NSA have finally broken an ultra secret code that thwarted the intelligence agency for almost 25 years. The suspected breach of national security was discovered during a review of a Congressional speech that was televised in 1985. The 45 minute speech was given by Congresswomen Nancy […]

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Motion Picture Academy Strips Weinstein, Vows to ‘Redistribute Oscars To Poor People’

Los Angeles, Calipornia – (SatireWorld.com) Likely beneficiaries under consideration are thought to include bankrupt former porn stars and their disenfranchised crack dealer chums who lost out on hard-won ObamaScare benefits following the election of President Trump last year.

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Anthony Weiner Say’s Weinstein Is Giving Sex Addicts A Bad Name

New York, NY – (satireworld.com) Convicted dirty old man, ex-Congressman Anthony Weiner has discounted suggestions that disgraced Hollywood movie mogul Harvey Weinstein is a true sex addict and predator toward women and said it does a ‘ huge disservice’ to those who are struggling with a deviant sex problem like himself.

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As Global Warming Heats Up Average Vagina Temperatures Drop Worldwide

Copenhagen – (SatireWorld.com) Esteemed scientist and 2008 Nobel Science Award recipient, Dr. Newton J. Blather, issued a startling warning to people everywhere concerning disturbing events he has recorded over the past year…Women and their vaginas around the world are cooling down due to global warming.

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Hillary Clinton Fingered In FBI Surprise Vagina Probe

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Senior FBI investigators named ex-presidential candidate Hillary Clinton in an ongoing look at election claims which used television ad bites to promote their party’s stance on certain controversial issues and uttering supposedly false charges against other candidates. The use of Donald Trump’s images and the ad’s voice over depicting certain charges […]

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Hillary’s Hollywood ‘Walk Of Shame’ Star Is In Its Ascendancy

Santa Monica Lewinsky, California – (SatireWorld.com) A Sunset Boulevard picture agency has announced the imminent publication of its long-awaited Halloween Special. Featuring morning-after-the-night-before shots of a ratarsed Mrs Clinton crawling out of her very married, dual Oscar winner lover’s matrimonial four-poster.

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Latest Trump ‘Groper’ Claim Shows Hillary’s Sexual Desperation

Blountstown, FL – (satireworld.com) The left is getting nervous as ‘The Donald’ isn’t going away into the sunset amid heated claims of sexual misconduct. In fact, all propped up charges of groping and un-warranted advances have been dispelled as fabrications including the latest from a Clinton campaign worker who claims she was groped by Trump […]

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Huma Abedin Finally Cuts Off Weiner

New York, New York – (satireworld.com) Huma Abedin is separating from her husband Anthony Weiner in the wake of his latest sexting scandal. The Clinton campaign manager released a statement on Monday morning just hours after the New York Post reported that Weiner had been sending lewd texts to another woman behind her back, marking […]

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Trump: Hillary’s Lingering Illness Due To Visiting Famous Tijuana Donkey Show in March

New York, New York – (satireworld.com) Reports of bombshell allegations being thrown at Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton concerning ailments that claim she suffers from and her reportedly ‘frequent and secret trips’ to Tijuana, Mexico while she prepared for the primary elections are circulating in media centers across the US.

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Monica Lewinski To Speak At DNC…Will Explain Why Democrats Left A Bad Taste In Her Mouth

Philadelphia, PA – (satireworld.com) Monica Lewinsky will speak at the Democratic National Convention’s Millennial Summit this week, opening up about her experience with cyber-bullying, her past relationship with President Bill Clinton, and how she’s more aligned now with the Libertarian Party now since leaving the Democratic Party in 1999 because of ‘the bad taste it […]

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