Somalia Now Surpasses the UK in Naval Strength; Pirates Threaten to Pillage, Rape and Plunder Along the Thames!
by captain america on 07/03/11 at 3:46 amStratford-OnThe-Rocks (SatireWorld.com)
Brits were in shock today after the Bible on the world’s status of fighting forces, ‘Janes Fighting Ships’ announced that Somalia had surpassed Britain in the total number of fighting ships operationally ready for combat, as well as total fighting personnel.
England, the tiny island country with the former Bull Dog mentality, once feared around the world, and whose Navy dominated the sea with real as well as fictional heroes and pirates such as Nelson, Hornblower, Churchill, Sir Francis Drake, Sir Walter Raleigh, Edward Teach, Black Bellemy, and even Irish pirate Grace O’Malley who had more balls than recent British government officials, has had long since dropped out of the world’s top ten navies.
Recent listings showed North Korea, Turkey, Mexico, France, India, South Korea, Russia, China and the USA with far larger forces in ascending order.
“Mexico!” shouted a man on the street, Percy Hornepiper,” when hearing of the list,” what the bloody hell has ‘appened to us, I ax you? Want to see our navy, go down to Portsmouth, I hear they’re giving boat rides around the town to tourists for a fiver….!”
Imagine his chagrin when he learned that Somalia now has a bigger naval force, and unlike the Brits, is willing to use them in a ruthless manner, knowing that the they could sail up the Thames tomorrow, loot, pillage and take hostages and there would be none that could stop them!
With their tail tucked between their legs and dictated to by the Council of Ministers and the European Union located in Brussels, which the Germans took in 10 days during the early stages of WWII, the once proud English have bowed their heads to a bunch of clerks isolated and living in Palatial Splendour who have nothing better to do than issue idiotic and very costly edicts to subservient member countries.
While England waits in vain for it’s next great statesman to stop the madness, the country continues to be bogged down with more edicts, political correctness, and now the upcoming $20M royal wedding while facing an explosive middle east, rising radical religious unrest in it’s own capital city, London, grounding of it’s air force, and two aircraft carriers with no planes allotted to them.
Meanwhile, under the EU, prisoners get the right to vote, dress according to their medically altered gender including push up bras, use makeup and false eyelashes, and demand jobless benefits tying up the courts, that in most cases are forced to uphold their demands issued by a former pastry salesman in Brussels.
Homeowners on vacation come home to find their houses taken over by squatters, who have rights under
the EU Human Rights Edict, and while the victims ply the courts in vain for relief, the usurpers strip the house, live rent free, get free legal representation, and are free to get drunk every day on benefit money and brag about their exploits.
Said Sean McGiver, a tour guide at the HMS Victory, Lord Nelson’s famous flag ship now located at Portsmouth Naval Ship Yard, “It’s real bad mate….it’s so fooking bad the rats are even leaving the ship…mind that one there, Mate, he’s off to Westminster for another bloody handout….furry little Ginger BASTARDS!”