by Bargis Tryhol on 21/03/11 at 2:51 pmIsle of Wight-(SatireWorld.com)
Reporter Harold Worth’s newest assignment proved to be more than a match for a lonely man with a big heart. Sent to cover Ise of Wight Grand National & Ashey Scurry, Worth stumbled into the semi-finals of the Miss World of Iron Pumping competition in nearby Sandown at the quaint Castle Inn
“I was totally smitten,” gushed a glassy-eyed Worth as he downed another pint and pulled his newest friend closer about her rippled waist, “Here’s to me and sweet Inga!”
According to Worth’s official report…Upon visiting the competition and watching women who’s body fat content was zero lifting weights at more than three times Worth’s own body weight, the pallid reporter struck up a conversation with a dark haired beauty named Inga Stasilofsi who just received the highest honors and the grand prize of $50,000 US.
Worth, who’s is usually assigned to the U.S. desk as a roving reporter, claims he’s met the woman of his dreams and challenged ‘any bloke’ at the bar to take a chance at arm wrestling his lovely Inga for a winner-take-all round of drinks. As the hours passed and ambulances visited several times to remove mighty, but fallen men who’s arms were in need of a surgeon’s cast, Inga consumer four pints to every one of Worth’s and smiled a bright smile of dazzling stainless steel teeth as Worth, the womanizer he is, whispered sweet words of endearment into her good ear.
“We immediately connected, says Worth. He later recounted their first night together where she, as he put it, ‘wallowed me pretty good!’
Worth admits that his time with Inga might be limited before she heads back to the former USSR, but he vows to ‘pop her good until the cows come home.’