by Jalapenoman on 08/05/11 at 11:16 amHARPO Studios, Chicago – (SatireWorld.com)
Rosie O’Donnell had to take Oprah Winfrey furniture shopping for a new couch after the 400 lb. comic/actress/talk show host broke the sofa on the set of Oprah’s show. The couch collapsed under the weight of Rosie, who was trying to use it like a trampoline (a la Ton Cruise) while proclaiming her love for Pippa Middleton.”
Oprah, better known as “The Woman Who Bought The Presidency For Obama,” said that it was about time she replaced the couch anyway. “Ever since Tom jumped up and down on it, defending his love for that little teenage pet of his he keeps on a leash, every star in Hollywood thinks that they need to do the same thing.”
Pippa Middleton is most famous for being the sister of Kate Middleton and having an incredible ass. The famous posterior became a household word (and that word is “damn!”) after viewers witnessed her butt in a white gown during the royal wedding of her sister to Prince William of England.
“I know that she can have any man in the world right now with an ass like hers, but there are also some special women out there that have the hots for her, and I’m one of them.”
Rosie said that “I only hope Pippa can look past my weight,… and my big mouth,… and my bad personal hygiene,… and my poor track record,… and my saggy boobs,… and my bad attitude,… and my diet… to see the wonderful person that I am inside. She’d really be missing out on a lot of something if she didn’t give me a chance at love.”
Note: that’s probably a “fat” chance… in more ways than one.
When told that American Rosie O’Donnell was in love with her and had demonstrated this with destruction of furniture, Pippa asked “Isn’t she the one from A League of Their Own? I think that she played the backstop or the concession stand!”