Hapless Limey, Harold Worth, Spurned By Calcutta Officials Over Love His Interests
by Bargis Tryhol on 11/05/11 at 1:45 pm
Zoologists claim that after so many years, Polo requires very little foreplay
Calcutta, India – (SatireWorld.com)
Polo, India’s only 2,000 pound male gorilla, is looking for some love. Despite an eight-year search for a mate, Polo remains a very lonely bachelor, and his Calcutta zoo keepers are making one final worldwide plea to find him a suitable sexual mate before his depression worsens.
In desperation, zoo officials had to broaden their search to include humans who would volunteer and become a sexual ‘friend’ for Polo. An ad was posted on the internet with a Calcutta phone number with hopes it would garner some suitable candidates.
WANTED:
Human needed willing to have sex with lonely 2,000 pound Gorilla.
$10,000 dollars (US) to suitable candidate
Finally, two months later the FAX line rang in the Division Of Indian Internal Affairs office.
Harold Worth, a British citizen and seasoned reporter from SatireWorld, answered the ad by submitting a recent photo, his resume, a referral list from his various ex-wives, and a cell phone number.
A zoo official contacted Mr. Worth and asked about his unusual and possibly dangerous request to befriend and have sex with a captive 2,000 pound Gorilla.
Worth replied, “Well, I saw the ad and thought about the money and all, so I decided to contact you to explain that I was really, really interested, but I could only raise $1,200.00 and wondered if they could extend me credit for the balance!”
Zoo officials couldn’t answer his subsequent calls since they were still rolling on the floor laughing!
Yes, and Polo is still lonely since zoo officials were concerned about letting a rather hapless individual like Harold Worth, well, have some fun!
Let’s Hear It!