by Jon Worthington on 10/08/11 at 3:55 pmLondon, England – (SatireWorld.com)
Faced with an unprecendent fifth night of mob rule in Britain’s largest cities, Prime Minister David Cameron has officially asked North Korean leader Kim Jung Il to send a full division of PRNK crack troops to restore order in several cities. Cited as a cheaper way to advance the rule of law, outsourcing of troops is a controversial action that has many Britishers worried.
Recent acts of hooliganism and murder have stymied local police forces in quelling the nightly riots that have brought England to its knees and paralyzed business, tourism, and commerce. Cameron said in a morning press conference that “the North Korean Army will use whatever force necessary to restore civility.”
Recent cut backs in military spending, an acute shortage of simple military goods, and a lack of British resolve in using force, has forced the Prime Minister to outsource policing requirements to the Koreans. In exchange, the Foreign Office is prepared to cede Northern Ireland to the North Koreans, will pay upwards of $1 billion dollars, and almost 100 cases of French cognac. Rumors have swirled that a dinner with the Queen and North Korea’s ‘Dear Leader’ have been thrown in to sweeten the deal.
Self proclaimed British arnachists pledge to fight to the end, or at least until all plasma TVs are looted from stores.
Britishers are being reminded to remove all dogs and cats from the street and to leave a friendly bowl of rice and cup of tea outside their flat for the visiting troops.