Competing Site Forms Ragtag Army Attacks SatireWorld!

by on 29/09/11 at 6:57 am

Crack Rump Ranger forces from the spoofy-goofy 69+1 Battalion turned and ran in horror when confronted with real humor at the SatireWorld gates. Claimed one grime-streaked miscreant, "I guess I should go home write another Cheryl Cole chapter for Dorky Review so my rump ranger buddies can tell me how great it is. It will make our defeat easily to digest. Gees! I hope I don't get banned for failure!"

London, England – (SatireWorld.com)

Scores of drunken and mainly over-the-hill Englishmen launched an unprovoked attack against SatireWorld early this morning. Casualties were reported to be heavy on the English side as patriotic SW defenders threw projectiles made from ‘Dorky Books’ back in defense of their territory. When asked to explain what that particular book was, a defender said, “Well, it’s just another self-published ‘dorky book. What can I say.”‘

Dressed in the latest of English men’s wear which consisted mainly of a women’s black abaya, sandals, crotchless pantalloons, and a copy of the Parliment approved Koran (English version) for guidance, human waves of attackers swarmed the SatireWorld gates shouting from beer swilled throats …’Holy Allah Mark is Great and so are we!’ They were promptly hit with a barrage of ‘Dorky Review’ books aimed by skilled marksmen posted on nearby hilltops before they could chant ‘we give up.’ They were last seen as they ran for cover to the nearby Dunkirk water reservoir.

Opposing force leader, General Churchmouse, vowed to return, this time with with their women, who many claim have more balls then their Englishmen husbands. In fact, a recent survey performed by Hot Stud Magazine, English women preferred the bunga-bunga with American chaps over their intoxicated, dorky-reading spouses.

Though defeated,the ragtag army headed home, stopping at a local pub where the resident pub monkey danced around on tables while wearing his trade-mark pork pie hat begging for quarters and scraps of stiltson cheeze…But as they say, it wasn’t in a gay way!

Reports of mass banning in Lancaster were reported as an angry and confused Spoof editor searched his government mandated Politically Correct & Diversity Manual for an aporopriate way of saying ‘slag off’ with out hurting anyone’s feelings.

In lieu of a rasping defeat, General Churchmouse, and Her Majesty’s grenadier and resident Muchkin Ollie Peter, placed phone calls to ex-Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher looking for help in defeating their newly found adversary. Thatcher replied that Britain’s last two ships were in dry dock having their sails mended, and would be of little help in offering a quick victory.

Fortunetely, General Churchmouse had an ample supply of French white flags,several cases of cheap Hungarian wines, and a few copies of slightly damaged Dorking Review’s to sooth ruffled feathers and to allow ample back slapping.



10 Responses to “Competing Site Forms Ragtag Army Attacks SatireWorld!”

  1. Colonel Stuart Peter Pinxit

    Sep 29th, 2011

    Oh dear, why are the Brits getting so upset? I see their top and best writer is…American. I suggest that this writer attracts readers to the site, not the strange English men, the sad little men feed of this REAL writer´s success – like parasites.

    How ironic really, if he left and took his storys away the spoof would be nothing, once again the USA bailing out our poorer and badly dentured cousins.

  2. Bargis

    Sep 29th, 2011

    Yes, and that American has one other thing over those lads besides topping the charts for almost two years…He’s an honorable gentleman.

  3. Lady Godiva

    Sep 29th, 2011

    Very well said! I agree 100%

  4. Colonel Stuart Peter Pinxit

    Sep 29th, 2011

    Because I know they are watching………

    Now, have you heard about the snivelling little dyslexic (or illiterate) antique seller from Sussex, who has aunties for scale and is now being guided by professional spoof writers to help him overcome his poor smelling and mad English?

    Gary Toadley, or something or other, ugly little man, quite a repulsive character, called the Spoof King a nasty name and then cried like a little baby when he was told off, luckily they all made friends again and everyone felt humble. And he discovered he had spell checker.

    Story coming soon about this man child and his need to be accepted by, erm, professionals.

    Jesus Buddha, its enough to make you cry!

    They aren´t out of the Monkey Woods yet, Fergus me lord, I know not what I do! It´s getting pathetic over there, it´s really Tragic Rabbit, More to come.

    Those were the days…….

  5. HMS Pantiliner

    Sep 29th, 2011

    Ahem. The guy on the right, is that Capt America circa 1975 or Lawrence Olivier/Omar Sharif??

    • Bargis

      Sep 29th, 2011

      Could be Captain America! A dashing fellow quick on his feet and nary a stumble to his walk! Hard time with the horses back in those days though.

  6. Captain america

    Sep 29th, 2011

    ….Indeed,,,with the circle of light ’round his head despite being falsely accused of Criimes against Allah and assorted unwashed scribes..

    …blessed be the meek, but by GOD, beware their wrath when they be wrongfully accused and riled beyond tolerance…though they be conceived in goodness, their righteousness will rise up to smite the oppressors, and, surely goodness and mercy will return to the
    sphere of Good Spoofers ’round the globe so the righteous may
    live in piece (sic) (is it I before e, except after P and sometimes Y…or do I have that backwards…just axin’ fer a friend)

    BTW: should that honorary gentleman who garners 28,000 reads a week for that other place leave….they wouldn’t be able to pay the light bill and would be left in even a ‘darker’ (or is that ‘dorker’
    place..

    Just axin….if your readership drops 43% in 3 months after a change in
    ‘business plan’, does that mean you got a ‘green loan’ from the EPA in the colonies….or that you shouldn’t be running a media site unless you’re Arianna Huff-Poo!

  7. HMS Pantiliner

    Sep 29th, 2011

    Well all I can say is that Capt America is a very busy man because I’ve seen pix of him on this site DRIVING MISS DAISY!! That Bedu-bash stuff must be a sideline, not a moose or dead elk in sight.

    • Bargis

      Sep 29th, 2011

      HMS…I know for a fact that Miss Daisy herself drove Cap around the block a few times or two, at least that’s what Cap said when he told me “I’ve been around the block a few times myself!” Just can’t understand how that old lady drove a Porsche with her bad leg and arthritic hands!

  8. Captain america

    Sep 29th, 2011

    ….brought back memories that did…Portia and i were quite an item in the days when men were men and writers were writers and not
    pretenders…

    ..and as Lawrence once said when confronted with evil…”I draw a line here in the sand, and ye shall not cross lest you be smitten…and once smitten I shall write on….Hi Ho Silver…away….!

Leave a Reply