by Johnathon Sebastian-Kent on 03/10/11 at 6:20 amLondon, England – (SatireWorld.com)
Scotland Yard went to Security 11 for the first time since the war in the Falklands, as thousands of Muslim protestors kneeled and prayed on the steps of Parliment in order to force the government to institute more demands for England’s swelling muslim population .
Scotland Yard issued riot gear and tried to enforce the ‘no prayer in public places’ law recently signed by the Prime Minister. The crowd of hajib wearing Muslims were estimated at over 150 thousand. Police feared the 75 portable toilets would be insufficient and asked local business owners to open their doors for toilet breaks.
Citing a clear and present danger, MI6 alerted its Emergency Response team in anticipation of mass confusion once all the participants complete their prayers and begin searching for their shoes amid the thousands of prayer rugs. Search dogs were brought in to help.
One of the demands protestors demanded was that Big Ben clock tower be converted to a minarete and to allow a recording to be played twice a day calling the faithful to prayer. Muslim clerics demanded that the present legal system in England be scrapped and Sharia Law be instituted at once. Finally, the last demand was that Buckinham Palace be converted into a mosque and all London pubs must be closed on Fridays and Saturdays.
Park officials have offered to allow English songwriter Gary Hoadey to broadcast his personal record collection of muslim kiss ass music if the demonstrators would lower their voices during afternoon soccer matches.
Busloads of prayer seekers flooded into downtown London as harried parking attendants tried to find enough parking spaces for the buses and their livestock trailers. Englishmen eager to show the world how much they love liberal diversity and intergration into their already overloaded social system, bent and washed the feet of newly arrived Muslim refugees, and promised them an immediate job, free rent, free food, a free car, and for the males, a blowjob by a blonde-haired blue-eyed English lass every Tuesday afternoon. Queried if there were enough young ladies to do the job, supporters assured them that if there weren’t enough ladies available, some brave young dandies would be of assistance since gay men out number straight men in modern England.