Satire World… Of course it's true….It's the news!

Brit Writer Celebrates ‘Kiss Mark’s Ass Day’ By Wearing Nice Lipstick, Butt Forgets Nose Wipes!

by Johnathon Sebastian-Kent on 08/10/11 at 5:42 am

Lambcaster, England – (SatireWorld.com)

Rejection can be a hard thing for a person to accept. The resulting loss of friends, or family, a job, or even artistic self-esteem. In one British writer’s case it should really be the loss of his own self-respect. Mainly because of his rejection by being banned from playing with his friends.

Afterward, he was further humilated on the international stage by being forced to publically kiss editor Mark Lowton’s abundently pimpled ass as a form of submission and eternal gratitude!

He was a so-so writer with a small online following. Gary Hoadey dabbled in a dry, lopsided sort of humor that the reigning members of the the Bolivian Cabel (the writer members that ran the Spoof-site’s social arena) tolerated and allowed its own boundaries. But the writer’s lack of education caused the Cabel to mention to the Supreme Editor how on numerous occasions this author’s lack of good grammar, and proper spelling, and his word mistakes were ‘bringing down the site.’

Finally, Gary was admonished and promptly banned from the site. Forever shunned by his so-called friends. Alienated from those he once shared jokes, laughter, and the power of having the true elitists of the site watching his back….Until the day he was betrayed and finally banned on a cold, rainy fall night.

Alone, he cried himself to sleep. Thoughts of yonder days of being a friend to all, now caused him angst and fear. On the site, his friends that failed him merrily urged him to ‘make-up and apologize to the editor.’ He sulked for days. Unsure of what to do until another writer sarcastically urged him to “become a real man and kiss Mark Lowton’s ass and all will be forgiven, plus you’ll have eternal life too!”

The day arrived. He dressed in his Sunday best, washed his face, and closed the door on his run-down gypsy vardo. The drawn circle on the wall calender reminded him it was ‘Kiss Mark’s Ass Day.’

In full view of millions of readers, he applied lipstick to prevent any bothersome chapping, swallowed any remaining pride he might have had, and forced down a dry lump in his throat as he watched the Supreme Editor bend and slowly lower his knickers. His hands trembled slightly as he unfolded the note. He began reading….

Dear All.

Please accept my apologies for the recent uproar. I should not have spoken to Mark in the manner I did. It was wrong.
Mark should be given the respect he deserves. I had no reason to reply with such venom. Mark was quite rightly, pointing out glaring spelling mistakes in several of my works. I have apologised to Mark in a private e-mail. He has, very generously, accepted that apology, and I again, thank him, for his understanding and humanity.

I would also like to thank my friends, for thier efforts, in bringing about a resolution to this unwanted episode.
I hope this will be the end of the matter, and we can move on and put this tempest behind us.

Your Friend

Gary (armfeetandtoe xxxxx)

He folded the paper note and closed his eyes as he bent forward into the abyss of humilation. From above he could hear clapping and cheers as his Cabel friends celebrated another victory.