Gay Man Goes Back In Closet
by Johnathon Sebastian-Kent on 17/10/11 at 3:52 pm
Gay Gary will only answer the door if you knock four times in quick succession, or fart loudly.
After almost ten years of being what he thought he wanted to be, a West Sussex man announced that he was no longer going to consider himself ‘gay’ and was going back into the closet for good.
“It was horrible! Other writers constantly hit on me. I was always watching my bum whenever I bent over at work. When my car failed, a close friend told me he’d lend me his seatless bicycle and that was the last straw after noticing he never cleaned the post after the last time he used it.”
Gay Gary quit his job. Sold all his antiques. Then immediately left town in the middle of the night and moved to London. Finding a quaint flat in trendy Soho, Gary moved everything into a closet and shut the door. Friends and fellow writers looked everywhere. Mail was unanswered. The email address no longer worked. Gay Gary was gone!
Unfortunately, even while in the closet, Gay Gary was never quite good at concealing his true identity. In his elementary school production of “Peter Pan,” Gay Gary was the only Lost Boy to accessorize his costume with a matching knapsack, claiming that he ‘needed somewhere to put the fairy dust.’
But despite the fact that all of Gay Gary’s family and friends already know that he’s gay, he will attempt to go back into his closet and hide his sexuality. Over the next couple of weeks, Gay Gary will be selling his Ricky Martin concert tickets, trading in all of his H&M buttoned downs, and finding a naïve nancy-girl to be his official “beard.”
Captain america
Oct 17th, 2011
…gotta luv Gay Lary…just not in that way!
…gotta axe tho…what does one do all day in one’s
closet besides hang around…sounds like a cheap Thai vacation
To me,THAT!
Uncle USA
Oct 18th, 2011
Hey Captain A, I heard that Gay Gary’s Soho gay closet is the same one that other Brit twits came from including Gay Stuart who I understand is regarded as the most flamboyant and fattest gay in all of England.
Bargis
Oct 18th, 2011
Perhaps the funniest thing to come off the Spoof in some time….
You are utterly, totally and completely wrong Jaggadone
The Spoof is a far far better place today than it was yesterday.
And it will be a far far better place tomorrow than it is today..
That’s all I’m saying
For now
Regards
CJ
OK CJ…Why is everyone leaving or has left saying almost the same exact words that the Spoof sucks, then
Captain america
Oct 18th, 2011
Attention all passengers, this is Captain Edward Smith..as you may have noticed, it’s a bit chilly tonight, and there’s a few ice cubes about.
Rest assured, by tomorrow morning we’ll be in the tropics and you’ll
all be in your shorts and laugh about this minor inconvienience.
Thank You.
That is All. Carry ON!
Bargis
Oct 18th, 2011
Once again SatireWorld predicts the future! I guess the other side of that closet door faced CJ Land. Handy it was so close, that.
Lady Godiva
Oct 18th, 2011
And what happened to THAT ship eh? Just saying!
Captain america
Oct 18th, 2011
…Scuttlecocked…lost with all hand, arms, feets and toes!
Lady Godiva
Oct 18th, 2011
Not to mention DICKS!
Still some ‘decent’ folk still over there though. We can’t, and shouldn’t, ‘tar them all with the same brush,
Uncle USA
Oct 19th, 2011
I read on someone’s blog that GAY STU’S two favorite things to do are to write third rate rubbish in the Spook forums and to sit in his bedroom closet and lick used Man U soccer balls.
He’s one sick Brit twit THAT.
Lady Godiva
Oct 20th, 2011
Armfeetandwotzit it back on the forum. I gave his Last Goodbye A
WEEK….before he would be reeled back in……and it has been LESS
than that…..THREE DAYS.
Those slime balls just USE him and play with his feeling – which is
borderline abuse….well…basic ABUSE …..if he really EXISTS
Uncle USA
Oct 20th, 2011
It appears that armfeetandTWAT, I mean armfeetandtoe is really nothing more than a simple, little dumbass PUPPET that the gay Brit twit dandies like Gay Stu, Gay Ian, Gay Lynton and the others simply use to do their DIRTY work.
The gay lads are all LAUGHING at him behind his naive nerdy back.
ArmfeetandTWAT is just TOO STUPID to realize it.
Just saying THAT.
Bargis
Mar 1st, 2013
UPDATE: Now that Skoob completely lost his mind to alcohol and his recent rant against QM and SatireWorld caused Lowton to shutter the Forums….What are these guys doing for a sex life now?
LESSON LEARNED? Never fuck with SatireWorld!