Editor Mark Lowton Celebrates 12th Birthday
by Buckwheatsbutt on 19/10/11 at 8:31 am
Mark claims he almost had sex once, but the goat ran away. He vows that next year he'll visit Miami and see if the goats are slower there.
The Lancaster Times Union let the cat out of the bag when an unplanned birthday announcement was published for all the world to see…Local boy Mark Lowton turned 12 years old on October 17th.
The son of a wealthy local banker, Lowton was given the website known as theSpoof as a surprise gift for his 8th birthday. Father Lowton realizing a boy must have some thing to play with when he wakes up other than his hard penis, thought the floundering website would teach his son Mark lessons in the business world.
The younger Lowton, who attends 8th grade at Middleby School for the Socially Inept, has built-up the site from rather humble beginnings to rather humble ends without spending a penny on infrastructure or on wages for his stable of writers who he torments on a regular basis.
Claims the lad, "When I was younger I got my kicks from pulling wings off of flies, now I make those big guys like Skoob and Colonel Juan aand make them do whatever I want. I even had that dopey drunk guy Skoob do a YouTude video! Ha ha ha"
Next year Mark says he wants to visit America and get laid in Miami. He asks, 'don't say a word to Da about it,' but has saved almost a dozen condoms for the trip that he got from his cousin Lynton who works in a pharmacy in Kent.
Let’s Hear It!