Spoof’s Ellie Jame’s Buttocks Liposuction Fat To Be Made Into Bio-Diesel Fuel

by on 01/11/11 at 10:53 am

Exxon-Mobil has run a 10 inch pipeline from it's Port Arthur refining center all the way to Fort Worth Memorial Hospital in anticipation of James liposuction procedure.

Fort Worth, TX – (SatireWorld.com)

Accordingly to Dr. Ismiel Gorn, doctors at a Dallas area hospital have set up a special olympic-sized tent in order to have an operating theater large enough to accommodate writer Ellie James secretly scheduled liposuction surgery on Monday.

The website The Spoof announced last week that Ellie James, also fittingly known as ‘TexasJelli,’ will enter the hospital for 'corrective surgery', but didn't elaborate upon the actual procedure involved.

Pressed by reporters for additional information, Spoof insiders mentioned that the surgery was required so James can be fitted for a size 298 'holiday ball gown'. They mentioned that James’s exceedingly large ass was the problem and liposuction was the corrective measure to be taken at the hospital.

Others mentioned that the real reason was the cost of retro-fitting the toilets in her house to accommodate her large ass, as it would would cost thousands of dollars.

Ben Caudwelt, a spokesman for Mark Lowton’s environmental issues committee on the Spoof, re-assured green-minded supporters that all the fat that was to be removed from Ellie’s ass would be re-cycled into clean burning bio-diesel fuel and would be enough fuel to give the State of Texas energy independence for almost a year!

Al Gore issued his own statement in support of the Spoof’s and James’ green efforts and promised to talk to the President about having Michelle do the same treatment in order to give the US energy independance for at least 5 years. In support of GOre’s idea, the United Truckers Union has promised to have all union trucks using the special fuel display the signage….Ass For Gas! Proudly Powered by Michelle Obama!

Willie Nelson is very happy.



4 Responses to “Spoof’s Ellie Jame’s Buttocks Liposuction Fat To Be Made Into Bio-Diesel Fuel”

  1. Throckmorton P. Turdblossom

    Nov 1st, 2011

    If you burn gas from ass, ain’t that the same as fart lighting? Does it make a funny noise or have an egg smell? Do you blame it on the dog?

    • Bargis

      Nov 1st, 2011

      Fart burning usually is a big favorite with the Dorking Dorks, except that time when Gary Moore almost burned Peter Oliver’s nuts off with a butane torch.

  2. Lady Godiva

    Nov 1st, 2011

    Speaking of Gary Moore, I saw on an Internet site where sneaky Gary is listed as one of the writers and the editor of the Dorking Review or as one of my friends in Newfoundland calls it THE DORKERS REVIEW.

    Gary Moore goes by the Spoof name of churchmouse – what a FITTING name for someone who is nothing but a LITTLE RAT!

  3. Lady Godiva

    Nov 1st, 2011

    Oh and I cannot overlook poor, little Ellie James (Sarah Steinbach). I do wonder how in the world she got herself mixed up with the Thames Tripe Twits?

    But like they say, you are known by the company you keep and Sarah Steinbach you naive, submissive puppet, YOU WILLINGLY CHOSE TO JOIN the ranks of losers like Colonel Juan, Skoob, Lynton Cox and the other feminine English forum dwellers, the SLIMEY LIMEYS so I guess you know that it makes you a SLIMEY LIMETTE.

    They make me ashamed to admit I’m a Limey myself.

    LOL

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