by Mark Lowton on 01/11/11 at 10:53 amFort Worth, TX – (SatireWorld.com)
Accordingly to Dr. Ismiel Gorn, doctors at a Dallas area hospital have set up a special olympic-sized tent in order to have an operating theater large enough to accommodate writer Ellie James secretly scheduled liposuction surgery on Monday.
The website The Spoof announced last week that Ellie James, also fittingly known as ‘TexasJelli,’ will enter the hospital for 'corrective surgery', but didn't elaborate upon the actual procedure involved.
Pressed by reporters for additional information, Spoof insiders mentioned that the surgery was required so James can be fitted for a size 298 'holiday ball gown'. They mentioned that James’s exceedingly large ass was the problem and liposuction was the corrective measure to be taken at the hospital.
Others mentioned that the real reason was the cost of retro-fitting the toilets in her house to accommodate her large ass, as it would would cost thousands of dollars.
Ben Caudwelt, a spokesman for Mark Lowton’s environmental issues committee on the Spoof, re-assured green-minded supporters that all the fat that was to be removed from Ellie’s ass would be re-cycled into clean burning bio-diesel fuel and would be enough fuel to give the State of Texas energy independence for almost a year!
Al Gore issued his own statement in support of the Spoof’s and James’ green efforts and promised to talk to the President about having Michelle do the same treatment in order to give the US energy independance for at least 5 years. In support of GOre’s idea, the United Truckers Union has promised to have all union trucks using the special fuel display the signage….Ass For Gas! Proudly Powered by Michelle Obama!
Willie Nelson is very happy.