by Johnathon Sebastian-Kent on 13/12/11 at 6:38 am
West Sussex (UK) – (SatireWorld.com)
Somewhere in ArmFeetandToe Land…….
Gary Hoadley, officially dubbed as the ‘World’s Biggest Cry Baby, has once again resigned from the once popular spoofing website….The Spoof.com.
By Gary’s own admission, this resignation makes it his 17th self initiated on-line resignation in the last three months. “This time it’s for good. Me mates are ignoring me! I hate that! I hate all of them too!”
It started a few weeks ago when Gary missed the mandated ‘pub crawl and meet-up’ with the rest of the Spoof’s leading Cabal members. The annual meeting’s agenda is important and is used as a road map for plotting revenge on other writers and a chance to impress the site’s owner, dimwitted Mark Lowton.
Part of the December meet-up is when all Cabal members play slap-back…each telling the other how great their writer’s skills are and how fucked up the other writers on the site are. The other writers are usually referred to as mere underlings that refuse to pay homage to the ruling elitists, or seperated out as under-talented ‘Mericans who dare write for a British site.
The defining moment this week was when the usual insecure and paranoid Gary posted two threads on the Spoof Forum that went unanswered. That’s right, none of his sworn soulmates replied! To Gary, that act of ignoring him was an outright rebuke on the grandest scale!
Gary’s mind raced with possibilities….Were they talking about him behind his back! Were they laughing? Maybe, even at the pub crawl, they were plotting the greatest of putdowns and that was to basicaly ignore him? Did they realize he was truly a no-talent idiot? Was it his terrible grammar and spelling? Did he smell? Was he supposed to have sex with Colonel Juan while dressed as little Boy Blue?
So today Gary Hoadley wiped the tears from his eyes and the ‘brown’ from his nose and simply quit by saying his usual and simple….Bye.
Of course, he hopes deep down inside the Cabal will comeback and beg and plead for him to return. Then as before, once again Gary will slink back from his self-imposed doghouse, with his little puppy-dog tail between his legs and gladly roll on his back while lapping furiously on the shoes of the Cabal as he pees all over himself in gratitude.