by captain america on 20/04/12 at 6:02 amParis, France – (SatireWorld.com)
Diminutive French President Nicholas Sarkozy, behind in the polls and threatened with being the first one term president since 1981, called on the Council of Ministers in Brussels to enforce their rules against ‘Dwarf Tossing’ as he struggles to win re election.
Latest results show the 5’1′ politician with the Napoleon Complex and the leggy 6′ wife heir to the Pirelli Tyre fortune, trailing his central Socialist opponent Francois Hollande by at least 14 points.
Critics say Sarkozy is volatile, has a different message every day, can’t stay focused, and is promising everything to everybody as he appears on TV on an almost hourly basis, a trait his detractors have linked to his idol, US President Barack Hussein Obama.
With the EU in shambles, and on the verge of self destruction, foretold by World Monetary Serial Rapist George Soros who is now betting against the Euro, a victory by Socialist Hollande
does not foretell of a happy ending for the ill advised European Union, directed by a horde of bureaucrats headquartered in Brussels whose only agenda is to increase their control on the 27 countries dumb enough to join the exclusive club which can’t spend money fast enough, or promulgate the dumbest of rules and regulations.
Hollande says he’ll “TAX THE RICH”, and spread STIMULUS money around on ‘shovel ready jobs’ like the NEW and IMPROVED Maginot Line, and fight any austerity measures imposed by the EU council of ministers spear headed by Germany in that country’s fight to stave off EU bankruptcy.
A Romanian Fortune Teller based in Dorking, UK, has foretold that not only will Sarkozy lose the election, he will probably lose his latest wife as well when the presidency passes from his hands.
The wispy singer, actress and nude model will probably move on to someone “not height challenged, better looking, and who makes more money….somebody tall, very dark, and who can kick a football,” said the dyslectic sooth sayer who also sells anti-cancer pills, practices satanic sex, and who has a huge following on Facebook.
Said a follower from Manchester, “sometimes she gets it backwards…but this time I think she got it right….she’s betting her knickers onnit, and that’s a lot to lose if you axe me, Mate!”
Concern is rising in London as Hollande is on record as not being willing to honour Sarkozy’s promise to share his aircraft carriers with the shipless Brits who were planning to delegate their fell remaining aircraft to the French in a Quid Pro Quo regarding the defense of the Falklands
as well as their commitment to the Shetlands , Hebrides, and the Isle of Wight, all of which are being wooed by the Chinese for their live stock, oil rights, loose women , migrating cod and spawning sardines.
Said one Brit ex pat after seeing what’s been happening on the continent, “Well Lads, I think we’re Royally and Thoroughly Fooked…we can’t get our mail, no one picks up the trash, I’m too old to learn Arabic, I’ve been abandoned by the Church, I can’t afford petrol for me scooter, the Home Secretary doesn’t know what day it is, and the Speaker’s wife is running around town with a Gypsy wrapped only in a sheet….I think I’ll jist git me hat and head off to Pattaya where men are still men and sometimes pretty good looking ladies…!”