by Jalapenoman on 05/05/12 at 1:50 pmLondon (UK) – (SatireWorld.com)
Slightly over 5000 British Moslems, most of whom were born in the Middle East, have announced plans to relocate to the Falkland Islands. As the current population of the Falklands is less than 3200, this will give the area a new look and a new majority culture.
When asked why they were chosing to relocate, Abdul Mohammed Raghead said that “we have always enjoyed the pastoral life, though ours has often been in the desert. In the green and rolling hills of the Falkland Islands, we can find the peace and tranquility that so many men desire.”
When asked if the more than 100,000 sheep on the island was part of the reasoning for relocating, he said that “it is certainly a selling point for the island. Who needs brothels when you have flocks of ready and willing sexual partners and no money need change hands? Besides, in the rolling and green hills of the islands, it would be a great thing not to have to worry about the sand when you take a ewe out behind your tent for a tryst.”
Traditionally, the Falkland Islands have been involved in legal disputes between England and Argentina over ownership and control. Raghead said that this would not be an issue as “we could take out Argentina with a lot fewer men and at a much lower cost than most western governments.”
It should be noted that moving this many people at once to the Falklands would cause an immediate housing shortage. In comment, Raghead said that “this will be no problem for us, as we can live in tents temporarily, until we have the time to vote the current residents out of their homes and off of the island.”
Upon hearing the news that they would have 5000 potential suicide bombers within a few hundred miles of their country, Argentina surrendered. The White House reacted to the announcement by blaming the Bush administration.