British Man Invents ‘Self-Banning’ Software….Subscribers Simply Disappear!

by on 28/09/12 at 10:49 am

Lowton accidently discovered the 'banning system' when looking for a cure for troublesome adult acne. In the course of testing, over 55 loyal spoofers disappeared leaving empty desks, and concerned spouses. Becareful logging on to this man’s site. You’ll be banned sooner or later.

Lancaster(UK) – (

In the ever changing world of science and technology amazing marvels find their way into the desktop computers of millions of consumers. Often before much of the technology is proven or actually fully developed to its greatest potential. A Lancaster man possible upped the ante by developing a software system that actually makes people disappear!

Software and computer Geek Mark Lowton accidently developed the system while working on an electronic cure for his adult acne problem, which in recent years accelerated to the point where friends and associates teased him about living in a Pizza Hut and wearing a pie on his face to work.

It was a troubling personal time for the Lancaster born and raised lad. The few dates he had were mainly from nervous, giggly girls from over at the Helen Keller Institute. Daytime activities drew stares and sly whispered looks. Even riding his bicycle was troublesome as flies and other insects buzzed his face in a constant battle of swatting and blinking. He was desperate for a cure and he knew his understanding of technology was his only hope.

Working feverishly, and often into the wee hours, an inspiration turned into a promising software program that could end his problem. As with most new and untested technology, certain glitches caused some pretty severe problems. It seems the system inter-reacted with the computer monitor and caused an occurance that Lowton called…”Really quite troublesome.”

In his haste to ban the horrid acne from his face, the software malfunctioned causing many of his online writers at the Spoof to simply vanish, never to be heard from again!

Spouses sent inquiries to his office about where their husband or wife might have disappered to after finding a cold chair in front of a dead computer screen.

“Just Banned’ was the usual answer sent by email and that seemed to suffice for awhile until the more clever spouses wanted additional answers.

He obliged and directed them to turn on the monitor and take a seat. Within moments there were no further requests from that household.

So far up to 1,400 writers and spouses have disappeared from existence and the website’s popularity has plummeted since most of the writers were actually funny.

More as we get it.

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