Premier League Team Man U Revealed To Buy Athletic Supporters From Victoria’s Secret

by on 05/03/13 at 5:26 am

Even Wayne Rooney isn't afraid to reveal his choice of Victoria Secret's panties

Even Wayne Rooney isn’t afraid to reveal his choice of Victoria Secret’s support panties

Manchester (UK)-(SatireWorld.com)

A delivery driver with dyslexia read an address backwards and accidentally delivered Man U’s order to a Manchester fast food restaurant. After opening a box they thought intended for them, the crew of a McDonald’s learned that the box of red, lacey, silk athletic supporters was actually meant for the Man U Premier League team.

Restaurant General Manager April Stoddard told reporters that “these players have more lace on silk in their jockstraps than I’ve got in my knickers. It is really pretty gay when you think about it. You expect masculine men on your favorite team, but now I know that these are really Y.M.C.A. style manly-men at Man U.!”

Strangely enough, none of the players from the team asked to verify the amount of lace or silk in the panties of April Stoddard, even though the 27 year old is a former Miss London and second runner up in the Miss England Pageant.

The famed Red Devils also apparently hold up their hose with red garter belts and some also seem to sport a red teddy under their uniforms, or so additional items in the shipment also reveal.

Former reporter for this publication, Harold Worth, was asked for his opinion on the lastest antics of his favorite team. His response was that “it makes me proud to know that the guys buy their foundation garments from the same company where I do. It shows that we both have good taste in clothing.”

Bike, a maker of jockstraps that supplies many athletes in many sports, says that “we probably sell fewer athletic supporters to teams in the Premier League than we do anywhere else. They all seem to go with unconventional suppliers. Now that we’ve heard this Victoria’s Secret story, our long held suspicions have been proven.”

Some football fans of other Premier League teams found this turn of events to be rather funny, as several pubs have renamed the cocktail known as a “pink lady” as a “red devil” (and it has become a best selling mixed drink).



One Response to “Premier League Team Man U Revealed To Buy Athletic Supporters From Victoria’s Secret”

  1. Hurricane Hank

    Mar 6th, 2013

    The Man U Red Devils are the most overrated team in European soccer. They need to change their name to the more apt name the Red Dainties.

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