by Mr. Numbnutts on 12/07/13 at 6:45 amManchester(UK) – (SatireWorld.com)
For the second time in two years, a Manchester man has been charged with public indecency for allegedly “having sexual relations with a rubber pool float,” a magistrate’s report claims it happened on July 10th.
Mark Lowtun, age 14, was indicted today in connection with last month’s incident, which reportedly occurred outside his home in Manchester.
According to the Manchester’s Constable’s report, Lowtun “stepped out of his back door, naked and was having sexual relations with a rubber pool float.” Investigators added that Lowton’s alleged encounter with the item “occurred in front of several elderly women who saw his genitals and his actions with the float. The women were over the age of 70 and it occurred in the afternoon during the daylight hours.” THe hysterical women wouldn’t comment, but one did remark that, ‘I’ve seen bigger penises on male cats than on that pervert!’
Pictured in the above mug shot, Lowtun is being held in the Manchester Deviant’s jail in lieu of a bond on a felony public indecency charge.
In August 2011, Lowtun was arrested after a witness reported seeing him having sex with a pink ‘Hello Kitty’ blow-up pool raft early one Sunday morning. Lowton, whose pants were at his ankles, was trysting with the raft in an alley, not a swimming pool.
When a witness yelled at Lowtun, he reportedly threw “a pink object over the fence,” reported cops, who added that, “A pink ‘Hello Kitty’ raft was located in the back yard” of a neighboring home.
Today’s felony indictment of Lowtun notes that the defendant has previously been convicted on three or more occasions of public indecency and felony bad taste. Constable Ellis Best said Lowtun was detained at an appliance store in 2009 for masturbating with a blender.