Drunken Portsmouth Man Wakes Up In Morgue

by on 07/11/13 at 11:54 am

Though dressed as a woman, doctors were quick to recognize Youngs since he's admitted himself with other strange objects up his 'bum' including a banana, a perfume bottle, assorted clothespins, and a rather bulky bicycle that he chose to ride with the seat missing!

Though dressed as a woman, doctors were quick to recognize Youngs since he’s admitted himself to the same hospital before with other strange objects up his ‘bum’ including a banana, a Beer bottle, assorted clothespins, and a rather bulky bicycle that he chose to ride with the seat missing!

(Portsmouth (UK) – (SatireWorld.com)

It was one of those nights for 58 year old Ian Young. One of those nights when “one more” seemed like a good idea – but wasn’t. He was found passed out on a bus stop bench in Portsmouth without a pulse. Concerned citizens called an ambulance and he was whisked away.

Slowwwwwwly fade to Black……
Fade in…..
It’s hours later. It’s dark. It’s very quiet…..

Youngs awoke in a body bag and screamed for help but nobody heard him. He then rolled the bag off the table and extricated himself from his premature eternal sleeping bag to find himself in the refrigerated part of a hospital’s morgue.

Afterward, Youngs told local media, “I remember sitting on a bench sipping a Stella and the next thing I woke up in a morgue. Someone has to pay for this, I have nightmares now about being sliced up by doctors who don’t realize I am alive and want to do an autopsy on me body. Even worse, I dream about people laughing…Not at my story writings, but at me!

Youngs intends to file suit against the hospital which gave a glimpse of its razor sharp defense: “They [the staff] believed that the man was dead…He looked dead….He smelled dead….And the clotrhes ghe was wearing looked like they spent time in a grave, and yes, they followed procedure by putting him inside a sealed bag.”

The moral of the story is if you plan to drink a lot, try not to die…if even for a short while especially when you look as ugly as Ian Youngs!



One Response to “Drunken Portsmouth Man Wakes Up In Morgue”

  1. captain america

    Nov 7th, 2013

    …5 THUMBS UP…

    Mind the toe tag,eh?

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