200 Million Americans Sign Petition for Washington DC to Secede from the US and Become Part of the United Kingdom
by Philbert of Macadamia on 01/04/14 at 9:33 am
Boston MA – (satireworld.com)
A petition has been placed on the White House website calling for Washington DC to leave the USA and rejoin Great Britain. Over 200 million Americans have signed this petition. The White House will respond to any petition that receives 100,000 signatures in 30 days and this secession petition has far exceeded the criteria.
Washington DC (the District of Columbia) is the capital of the USA. The Residence Act of July 16, 1790, approved the creation of a capital district located along the Potomac River on the nation’s East Coast. As indicated by the US Constitution, this federal district is under the exclusive jurisdiction of the Congress and is therefore not a part of any US state. The states of Maryland and Virginia each donated land to form the federal district.
A plausible explanation for the Washington DC secession petition is that since January 20, 2009 an aura of royalty has slowly permeated Washington DC, namely a Democratic king, empress, House Minority Madam, Senile Senate Majority Leader and various Democratic Congressional knaves who have lost touch with the people.
America is still the land of the free but not all of its citizens are happy with the “let them eat cake attitude” of their elected Democratic Chief Executive and Democratic Congressional representatives, e.g. lavish travel and golfing vacations at taxpayer expense, government program boondoggles. Failed current Democratic administration federal policies have resulted in increased national debt, high unemployment, lackluster economic growth, increased federal regulations, increasing unearned entitlements, intrusion and spying into citizen’s lives and draconian healthcare (Obamacare) mandates.
White House Press Secretary Jay Carney refused to release the real name of the petitioner, only referring to her as Patricia Henry. Mr. Carney released the following statement “following the American Civil War (1861-1865) the Supreme Court ruled that unilateral secession of a state is unconstitutional.”
However, many US Constitutional scholars point out that Washington DC is not a state!
There are rumors of secret US Department of State negotiations with Her Majesty’s Government concerning a $10 trillion price tag for Washington DC (not including moving expenses), and the disposition of the EPA, USDA, FDA, DOE, DOS, IRS, FCC, FAA, FBI, NLRB and NTSB prior to transfer. The UK has indicated that the aforementioned US federal agencies and their people will only be absorbed into the British government if the US pays the UK $10 trillion. The US intends to keep the CIA, NSA and the Pentagon, all located outside of Washington DC.