Prince Charles Banned From Visiting British Troops After Queen Sees Tabloid Photo

by on 17/05/14 at 5:50 am

 Caught in the act!  Prince Charles said he was merely checked for uniform roundness and firmness and the recruit had no objections once ordered to stand at attention.

Caught in the act! Prince Charles said he was merely checked for uniform roundness and firmness and said the recruit had no objections once she was ordered to stand at attention.

Buckingham Castle (UK) – (

Royal watchers were astounded after a royal edict came down from her Royal Highness that forbids her son Prince Charles from attending any parade or inspection functions at any military bases across Britain for the next several months. This is in response to public furor aver a recent tabloid article published on Wednesday.

Many speculate it was in response to a widely distributed tabloid photo showing the Prince about to fondle a young recruit’s breasts while doing a troop inspection ant Gladsdown Military Base in Southern England.

The photo shows in great detail the Prince’s hands about to fondle a rather well-endowed female recruits breasts after she and her company were ordered to stand at full attention for the Prince’s courtesy inspection. As the future king of England worked his way down the line of troops he stopped in front of 20 year old Pvt. Catherine Sedge-Hodges and groped her size 36D breasts. Her comrades looked on helplessly as Prince Charles massaged the woman’s breasts for a full five minutes before completing his inspection.

Sargent-Major Peter Dunes-Mossbery said it was a ‘rather cheeky performance’ and added, “A bit of a sticky wicket for all concerned and bollocks as far as military discipline was concerned!”

Dunes-Mossbery is a 25 year veteran, a Gulf War warrior, and has trained young troops for almost 18 years.

Prince Charles defended his actions by claiming he was merely attending to what the Royal’s refer to as a ‘historic hands on quality control inspection.’

“It’s all rubbish! I just wanted to see if suppliers were scrimping on supplying good quality woolen tunics and merely checked for woolen fabric weight and proper military fit.”

When reporters finally met up with Pvt. Catherine Sedge-Hodges, she candidly admitted that the Prince did promise her a Royal Service Medal that he would personally pin on her at Balmoral Castle in what the Prince called, ‘a rather splendid late night affair!’

Staffers at Buckingham Palace say ‘the Queen is flummoxed at the recent tawdy behaviour of her oldest son and hopes wife Camilla can offer a solid solution.’ One staffer wasn’t sure what a ‘solid solution’ mentioned by the Queen might exactly be, but guessed a rolling pin or frying pan just might be the proper answer.

Leave a Reply