by Philbert of Macadamia on 25/07/16 at 3:01 pm
London UK- (satireworld./com)
Queen Elizabeth II called in the new British Conservative Prime Minister (PM) Theresa May and asked her to convene Parliament for a declaration of war against animal rights activists. The Queen was upset that these silly upstart animal rights activists have insulted my great grandchild, three year old toddler Prince George. He is third in line for the Crown and “We” were celebrating his third birthday and these people complained about the dog’s improper dietary habits The prince’s pet Cocker Spaniel Lupo had licked some ice cream from a dripping cone.
PM May said, “yes Mum” and headed back to 10 Downing Street and then to Parliament to set the wheels in motion for a “dust up” with rabid dog lovers, who probably had never seen a pet dog being around young children before. Otherwise they would know dogs will eat anything they can smell, but not poop on! As PM May was being driven to the Parliament buildings in Westminster she was thinking about Brexit, forming a government and where the Loos at 10 Downing Street were located, but now another crisis has risen! Already, she noticed, the daily tabloid paper sellers had “WAR” on their signboards!
After a rousing debate, Parliament (House of Commons and House of Lords) agreed to a declaration of war against animal rights activists, which would be limited to the UK, the US (former colonies), Canada, Australia and New Zealand. Parliament will dispatch the British Army under General Bernard Montgomery II and the British Navy (aircraft carrier, frigates, and nuclear submarines) under Admiral John Jellico IV, with Royal Marines embarked. The British Army will handle the domestic UK groups and the British Navy overseas groups.
PM May put in a call to the US, Canada, Australia and New Zealand political leadership to inform them that “the British are coming by sea!” PM May particularly wanted to converse with President Obama about the leading perpetrator of animal rights silliness PETA. Additionally, she was concerned about the executive overreach of the US Interior Department’s misuse of the Endangered Species List (ESL), via considering non-endangered fowl species suggested by other biodiversity groups. But she could only reach Presidential Press Secretary Josh Earnest. PM May asked “is President Obama available or was he out playing golf?” No, Josh replied Michelle has Barack out in her vegetable garden using a super pooper-scooper, picking up from their Portuguese water dogs Bo and Sunny!