Brit Thrift Store Chain Swamped With Pervert Staff

by on 13/02/18 at 8:16 pm

Thrift store clerk and notorious pervert Harold Worth says he sometimes plays pocket pool while waiting on customers....Sometimes when it's slow he plays 'away games' with the kids.

Thrift store clerk and notorious pervert Harold Worth says he sometimes plays pocket pool while waiting on customers….Sometimes when it’s slow he plays ‘away games’ with the kids.

London – (SatireWorld.com) –

Up to 23,000 suspected sex perverts are manning the tills at 650 state-sponsored thrift shops according to latest government figures released today.

Oxfam, a successful charity that each year creams off more than £30m ($40m) of hard-earned taxpayer largesse, has been accused of failing to carry out criminal record checks on volunteer store staff in a farce-breaking scandal about trading foreign aid for sex.

“We think it started around 2011,” a charitable Deep Throat told SatireWorld reporters, “at a state-sponsored orgy villa in Haiti.”

The lush 10-bed Port-au-Prince property was formerly leased from disgraced Haitian ex-dictator Papa Baby Doc Duvalier, a former charity patron and pal of the Queen.

“Villa Backhanda is where Elizardbirth spent her 1947 honeymoon,” the Deep Throat confided, “before farrowing a litter of royal trash.”

Among that brat-pack is reclusive Barking charity worker ‘Pietro’ – suspected of kiddie-fiddling in the shop’s pungent changing rooms where groping minors is seen as a perk.

The 69 year-old was excluded from UK Civil List handouts where snouts-in-the-trough royal wannabes are showered with taxpayer handouts ‘to keep quiet about perverts inside Buckingham Palace’.

“No wonder the asshole volunteered with such enthusiasm,” the head of government donations admitted this morning.

Sales of Oxfam-approved rubber three-packs are suspended until April 1st.



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