Brit Spooks Bugged Trump During 2014 Turdberry Purchase: Report

by on 23/09/18 at 2:00 pm

Ecuador president Rafael Correa says it was revenge for Chevron oil looting the country.

Ecuador president Rafael Correa says it was revenge for Chevron oil looting the country.

London – (SatireWorld.com)

A bounced Czech and botched drive-by shooting outside the home of Scotland’s Turdberry Golf Course owner kick-started a lengthy investigation into Don T Rump’s offshore financial arrangements insider sources said today.

According to depositions filed at London’s Central Criminal Caught officials at the now-collapsed Russia-Ecuador Deconstruction and Embezzlement Bank’s Bogota offshore banking unit (OBU) initially pulled the deal after a tip-off.

“We were alerted to possible money laundering issues,” a former Costa Rico (Racketeer Influenced & Corrupt Organizations Act) branch manager chuckled at SatireWorld reporters hot on the trail of a ‘major golfing scandal’.

An internal probe discovered how a ‘computer error’ had added a ‘string of noughts’ to Mr Rump’s bank balance – something that Ecuador’s then-President Rafael Correa blamed on ‘global warming’ following a solar panel-triggered outage at the country’s Central Bank.

Eventually a Ukrainian institution, the First Chernobyl Savings & Clone Bank of Colombia LLC, underwrote the transaction, denominated largely in Russian T-Bills and guaranteed in person by ‘a Mr V Putin’.

Commenting on the drive-by shooting a British police source insisted a ‘large Russian-built Zil’ with Florida plates had been seen in the incident’s vicinity.

“We have bullet casings and a discarded parking ticket,” the detective admitted wryly.

Next year’s much-anticipated Trump Qatar Open may now be delayed.



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