Ayatollah Removed From Manchester Petting Zoo on England State Visit

by on 17/10/18 at 9:15 am

The very words that froze Ayatollah Smelly Buttahola in his tracks.

The very words that froze Ayatollah Smelly Buttahola in his tracks.

Manchester, UK – (satireworld.com)

The Ayatollah Smella Buttholla, in England on a state visit to speak to Moslem/Muslim immigrants and to secure preferential treatment for his people, was removed by police from a Manchester petting zoo today.  The Iranian religious leader was, according to upset parents and crying children, “doing nasty things with the sheep and other animals just like the Premier League players used to do before they got kicked out.”

Municipal police removed the Ayatollah from the scene but were unable to arrest him because he was claiming “Diplomatic Immunity” (Smella Buttholla was given the benefit of the doubt even though he is not a registered diplomat, part of the country’s foreign ministry, or a member of the Iranian government).  Said one local constable, “we’d love to put the little bugger behind the bars, but he was screaming and his security guards were patting weapons and we thought it best to diffuse the situation by getting him off the property and letting him go.”

Note for American readers:  A “bugger” is someone who has sex in the rectum with another being, person or animal.  In this case, it was animals.

The Ayatollah did not deny the allegations, but said that “we also have these petting zoos in my country.  We call them brothels.  It is a place for men to go and relieve their sexual tensions.  It was strange that so many children were there, but I left them alone because I didn’t know if they were customers also or part of the livestock.”

Butthola then demanded that access be granted to his people immediately as deny them the ability to see and make use of the animals was racist, prejudiced, and a hate crime, not politically correct, and intolerant.  “They are discriminating against my people by not allowing us admission into this little park.  We demand justice!  We demand our rights (which are more than equal or equitable).”

This is not the first time that men from the Middle East have been removed from children’s petting zoos for having sexual contact with the animals.  It has happened in The United States, Australia, Japan, New Zealand, and every European country where Moslems/Muslims have a significant presence.

Petting Zoo owner Richard Winters Smythe lamented that “if we could just keep our football players and the ragheads out, our children could have a good, learning experience with the animals.  Those little Shiites just had to traumatize the young ones.  I’m sure that if they had just contacted Man U., they could have made arrangements to use their personal supply of farm animals.”


2 Responses to “Ayatollah Removed From Manchester Petting Zoo on England State Visit”

  1. Bargis

    Oct 17th, 2018

    What a zoo………..

  2. Jalapenoman

    Oct 17th, 2018

    I guess that the Ayatollah wasn’t wearing a sheepskin!

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