by Bargis on 12/01/11 at 6:20 pm
The recent Cash For Morons Program, where federal dollars pay Americans to trade in their stupid legislators for ones that have American’s best interests on their agenda, has met with a resounding success. Formally called the Mid-Term Elections, the Cash for Morons program has saved taxpayers almost $600 billion dollars in cancelled earmarks normally attributed to by congressional members.
People everywhere have been dragging in protesting politicians to claim their $1,000. rebate check. In fact, in Florida alone, rope and plastic tubing have been in short supply as thousands have hog-tied and transported over two hundred kicking and screaming politicians to redemption centers on Miami Beach.
The streets of our nation’s capitol are quiet tonight as politicians are keeping a low profile so as not to stir up attention. Last week, the peaceful deportation of ex-president Obama to Kenya sparked a renewed effort to gather up the rest of the Washington politicians and send them packing.
Roofing supply stores and chicken farmers have been flabbergasted at the 1,000% increase in sales as angry voters buy up their products in record amounts.
Reportedly, Vice President Joe Biden has taken refuge in a foil-lined dumpster along with Senator Harry Reid. Both fear when discovered the crowd might tar and feather them both.
The actions by millions of hard working, honest American citizens have allowed themselves the chance to regain a true democracy where the people’s voices are again heard and freedoms aren’t threatened by additional laws and senseless deficits by morons who vote themselves endless pay raises, ridiculous perks, and outright bribery of other officials.