by Jalapenoman on 28/01/11 at 3:24 pm
Seattle, Washington (Satire World): Dr. Niles Crane has admitted that Dr. Sheldon Cooper of “The Big Bang Theory” is the love child that he fathered while competing in the National Spelling Bee. Crane made the admission after multiple people noticed that both are highly anal retentive, persnickity, obsessive-compulsive, fastideous, and just a regular pain in the ass.
When asked why the child was raised in Texas, the psychiatrist admitted that “we were both too young for parenthood and I refused to ever change a diaper without a hazmat suit, so we found a family in the South that was willing to raise a brilliant child. After all, the girl and I were both only young teenagers.”
Crane, who is famous for walking away from the final round of the National Spelling Bee without attempting to spell his word, has finally admitted why. “The final word was multi-orgasmic, and hearing it gave me an embarrassing chubby, just thinking about the night before.”
When asked to comment on his newly discovered parentage, Cooper admitted that “I knew that I could not share DNA with a bunch of dumb hillbillies. I now know that my father is a highly educated man who did not matriculate at a state school, but had the taste and refinement to attend the Ivy League. While I don’t always agree with all of that Freudian mumbo jumbo of psychiatry, I recognize that my father came from an earlier generation where that speculative tripe was considered a hard science.”
“This also may explain why I was never any good at sports.”
There is no word yet on who the mother of Dr. Cooper might be.