Experts Reveal Egyptians Rioting Due To Shortage of Snuggies
by Jalapenoman on 29/01/11 at 6:58 pm
Nursing student Benezir Ali Gupta’s knock-off cellophane Snuggie caused a stir on Cairo streets just before the crowds stoned her to death.
Cairo, Egypt-(satireworld.com)
Expert analysts within the United Nations and the State Department have revealed that the recent unrest in Egypt and other parts of the Middle East is due to a massive shortage of Snuggies. Lack of the popular consumer item that is half robe/half blanket have put citizens on the street and may end up bringing down a government.
When asked why there is a lack of Snuggies in Egypt right now, Deputy Secretary of State Sid Luckfish said “many Americans give these gifts at Christmas time to each other. There are two problems with this in Egypt: they don’t celebrate Christmas (so cannot exchange Snuggies as presents), and we in the United States depleted the world’s supply just last month.”
Manufacturing expert Marty McSty said that “extra plants all over Mexico and China are tooling up to mass produce snuggies to get them into the Middle East as soon as possible. We hope to put as many Egyptians as we can on their couches comfortably watching television or reading magazines.”
The Ayatollah Ramen was outraged at news of the reasons for the Snuggie shortage. “This is another example of the Imperialistic Great Satan Americans showing their racist and discriminatory attitude towards Moslems and Egyptians. Our people deserve their Snuggies as much as anyone! We will not be denied the pleasures of our very own Snuggies!”
In a related note, McSty revealed that the pink Snuggies intended for the Middle East are being manufactured with a hood and veil in place for the women.
Let’s Hear It!