Satire World Reporter Attends First White House News Conference
by Bargis on 19/02/11 at 1:25 pm
Auntie Zeituni says she's worked hard enough trying to figure out all the free government programs and handouts and claims that gives her the right to stay.
Late yesterday Bargis Tryhol, Satire World’s greatest funny-news pundit, was invited to participate in his first White House news conference.
Reporters who receive the chance to ask the coveted ‘first question’ are chosen by a blind draw and have the opportunity to ask the really important question of the day to Mr. Obama.
In this case, Satire World’s own Bargis Tryhol won the draw.
Press secretary Jay Carney looked a bit dismayed knowing the conservative reputation of Satire World and it’s stable of seasoned conservative reporters and writers, none the less, he introduced the President and asked everyone to stand……
Carney: “Ladies and gentlemen…The President of the United States!”
Obama: “Thank you…Please be seated. Thank you all for being here, we’ll keep the briefing short and I’ll start out with a question from…Let’s see…Yes, Bargis Tryhol.”
Tryhol: “Bargis Tryhol, Satire World. Thank you for this opportunity. I would like to ask a question about the economic uncertainty with a follow-up question, Mr. President.”
Obama: “Please do.”
Tryhol: “In lieu of the many sacrifices the government is asking of all citizens in the face of a crippled economy, low employment figures, runaway health costs, and soon to be galloping inflation, please tell us why your Aunt Zeituni Onyango is living off the US government dole with free healthcare, free housing, free legal representation, and is collecting social security benefits without ever contributing a cent during her stay here, when in fact, she’s an illegal alien who snuck into our country from Kenya in 2002?”
Obama: “Say what?”
Tryhol: “Please, explain to the the nation why Auntie Zeituni suddenly left Boston for Cleveland in 2008 when the press started to look into her illegal status days before the presidential election, and how your Auntie, without a means of support to pay for airfare, ends up in Cleveland and yet without any money, has the means to live there?”
Obama: “Say what?”
Tryhol: “It’s been an American trait since our forefathers created this great country that kin folk of means always help their next-of-kin in the advent of economic turmoil or health emergencies that might effect them or their family….Why have you Mr. Obama, a man of obvious means and education, declined to help Dear Auntie, yet you allow her take government resources away from legitimate citizens?”
Obama: “Say what? Auntie Who?”
Carney: “Mr. President…Let me answer this reporter’s question on the government’s official stand. Mr. Tryhol, if we took away all her goverment assistance, Mrs. Onyango would have to seek employment. We don’t want her taking a job opportunity from a work-seeking American do we?”
Tryhol: “Carney. You’re an idiot!”
The stunned press corp sat in silence as a phallynx of Secret Service agents rushed in and physically pulled Tryhol from his seat, whisking him away to the Vice President’s news conference down the hall. The only explaination given was the Vice President had no living aunts and therefore easier questions could be asked. Plus, Biden was mostly clueless and anything he said would not be taken seriously.
More news at 11……….
Captain america
Feb 19th, 2011
…one word….REPARATIONS!
CAP