by captain america on 22/02/11 at 8:15 am
Prince William is at the center of yet another Royal controversy as a recent tweet to a mate has been released to the public and is sweeping London causing more embarrassment to the Royal Family just months prior to his wedding!
Replying to a question on how he was going to handle marriage after an active sex life as one of England’s most eligible bachelors, Will carelessly responded,” Can hardly wait, two more months till it’s legal, and I can CHEAT….looking forward to the excitement of sneaking around!”
Will, described by most as “a nice lad who had the misfortune of inheriting some disquieting genes,” has said to have been ready to settle down and fulfil his contract to father yet another heir to the throne.
Said brother Henry, (call me Harry), “well, right now, Wills seems resigned to his lot, he’s been getting a a lot of pressure from grams to carry on the line, you know. But, I dunno, I don’t think ‘is hearts innit, if you get me drift. He’s still a kid at heart, recently been spending a lot of time on the internet and following stories on celebrities, gussets, micro waved panties and such….fixated, it seems to me!”
“Will, I said to me brother, The Prince of Wales, ” get offn’ it…it will only lead to tears. This stuff is just a gag, a joke innit…it’s for 15 year old kids is wot it is…not fer the likes of you and me mate!”
Harry said his advice was to no avail.
“Listen, believe it or not, he’s been going around collecting all sorts of panties during his nights out, no shortage of ‘em I can assure ya,then taking ‘em home and poppin’ ‘em in the micro to bring out the aroma!”
“Will, says I, to me brother, The Prince of Wales, it was a joke innit, didn’ ya get it…it was a spoof of a spoofer…only a pussy hound like you would fall fer that story….HAR!”
Meanwhile, palace insiders are denying the imminent marriage was arranged and Will and bride Kate have already agreed that it will be an ‘open marriage.’ A friend of Kate’s said she can’t wait to be wed either, saying she’s had her eye on a young up and coming soccer star from Senegal noted for his big thumb and acrobatic moves on an off the pitch.
“Why do ya think they refused to live under the Queens eye in London, ” said one insider rhetorically, ” they want to live in the country far away from prying eyes so they can indulge their fantasies and have some fun in their lives….it’s wot Royals do, innit?”
A close confidant of the Prince of Wales said he is looking forward to his bachelor party
said to be held at the New Oasis Bar & Grill, where it is said the Duchess of York will be the sole performer in an effort to make up for not inviting her to the royal wedding.
“Me thinks there might be a bit of topless dancing and a bit of nakid toe sucking, if I was a betting man,’ said a certain Manchester bartender laid on for the night, as he cocked his hat and laid his thumb alongside his nose, ‘ could turn out to be quite a party, and definitely not in a gay way!”