by captain america on 06/04/11 at 2:57 am
Health and Human Services Head Kathleen Sebelius announced today that Satire World.Com would not be one of the 1400 entities (and still counting) to receive a favoured exemption from the Obamination Health Care Act put into place behind closed doors by Democrats in the US one year ago!
Sebelius, still recovering from a buttocks enhancement procedure that went terribly wrong in New York City when an undocumented Obama Weatherization Volunteer injected her ass with a bad batch of silicon caulk meant for weather-stripping windows, paid for by taxpayer stimulus money said, “after further review, we found that simply put, Satire.Com and it’s founder, editor and publisher, Bargis Tyrol, did not
“fit the accepted profile to be granted a waiver. The fact that he’s just a big prick who doesn’t like the way the country is heading under Obama played no part in our decision…and I heard he even hates Alan Grayson!”
Said Obamacare administrator Donald Berwick, a big fan of the UK’s NHS system which has patients starving because nurses can’t be arsed to feed them, and is rife with ‘doctors’ from third world countries practicing on helpless patients without being vetted, or even tested if they’re ‘english speaking’ proficient, while patients in pain are stacked up in hallways or even waiting 6 months to be diagnosed with cancer, “Look, WE WON the election….anyone on “our side” will get a waiver….if you have power and don’t wield it to ensure you’re re elected, what good is it, eh?”
The rejection comes on the heels of the announcement that over 130 more Obama supporting entities will be granted waivers on the odious plan passed by a Democratic congress behind closed doors without being read.
As former House Speaker Nancy “Dole” Pelosi fanously said, “We’ve just GOT TO pass this bill so we can find out what’s innit!”
Taxpayer’s are now finding out.
In addition to the thousand or so unions, special interest groups and companies pouring thousands of dollars into the Obama re election campaign, the latest outrage is rabid supporter Anthony Whiner (sic), democratic congressman from NY and preparing to run for Mayor of NYC, saying he wants a waiver to exempt the entire city from the blood sucking bill. “It’s the quickest way I know to reduce our deficit, keep pedophile teachers on the payroll, and allow trash collectors and the guys who run the snow plows inside and safe on bad weather days, ‘ said the brash and obnoxious mental lightweight.
As each day passes, and more and more obscure entitlements are discovered in the 2300 page bill, it appears that the few remaining productive workers will be and for the nation’s non producers.
While everyone is ‘mandated’ to have insurance under Obamacare, now it turns out there is over $5b in the treatise to ‘subsidize’ the United Auto Workers, AT&T, Verizon and several other big companies and even yet more states so they can meet pension and health care requirements for their government ‘workers.’
This latest outrage comes on the heels of information that in the majority of the states financially underwater due to pension, health and entitlement programs given away to Unions in exchange for election votes, that government service workers in those states now outnumber productive workers in manufacturing almost 2-1!
Satire World.com now joins Fox News as the only two media networks not exempt from Obamacare, with earlier waivers being granted to CBS, MSNBC, ABC , NBC and of course Oprah’s new TV station, OWN and naturally Al Gore’s “Current TV” which is featuring reruns of Keith Olbermann reporting the news said to rival Saturday Night Live! .
Arianna Huffington, new head of Huffington/AOL who recently fired 80% of the reporters working under the Writer’s Guild when she took over after banking $300M, said she might apply for the waiver after she checks to see if there are any paid staff left at the media outlet. Huffington relied on unpaid staffers to write favorable articles for the Obama regime, a practice she said she will continue as ‘there are literally hundreds of liberal, progressive amateur writers out there who don’t care if they get paid or not, because they’re already subsidized either by the federal government, the state government, or by companies they work for who don’t realize they’re writing for me on company time and on their employers’ computers!”
Said bumbling Limey Reporter Harold Worth, spending a week in the US on a UK funded writing internship, “Only in America, eh? At least when I had me thumb incident and had to wait 4 months to have it treated at home I didn’t have to pay for it, and when I finally finished me thumb was even BIGGER and BETTER than before….gotta hand it to them Paki doctors….you really do get what yer pay fer! God Save the Queen and them lot!”
Said Bargis, speaking off the record, ‘thank God, Worth’s week here at Satire World is almost over! I almost went broke paying his bar tabs, and he caused problems on every assignment I ever sent him on. That last one where he ‘gobsmacked’ Snooki was the last straw….that bloke was ALL THUMBS and really was a
Bumbling Limey Reporter…funny BASTARD though. HA!”
Due to the White House refusal to grant him a waiver, Bargis said all writers on the site will now have to
‘self medicate.’ “Hey,” he said pensively while hunting tree climbing alligators on a lake somewhere near Orlando on his 22′ restored 1922 Chris Craft mahogany speed boat, ” all I can say is ‘Writers, go and heal thyselves!”
Captain America was off on assignment to cover the Masters Golf Tournament and was not available to comment on this latest Obama Fatwa.