Obama Pulls Out All Stops for Re Election; Doc Prescribes Cream Guaranteed to “make him whiter than MJ by 2012!”
by captain america on 06/04/11 at 7:38 am
Commodore Jackson was promoted to skipper of the USS Boys Town. Reportedly trading his skin whitening secrets to the Obama administration.
He was Ludicrous over Libya, Helpless over Health Care, Gaseous over Global Warming, Numb after the Nobel Prize, Arrogant about Arizona, a Bully over BP, Euphoric over Egypt, Mum over Mexico, and now insiders say Obama is resorting to skin whitening in order to stay in the White House for four more bumbling years!
Close Chicagoland advisor and slum lord Valerie Jarrett, a black woman who looks white, said, “hey, it worked for me….I now look like Michael Jackson’s mother would have looked when he was born late term at 50!”
The spin put out by the White House (sic) now is floating medical information that the President, who is half African according to highly redacted reports, is suffering from Vertiligo, a pigment disorder leading to discoloring of the skin, similar to what Michael Jackson’s doctor said was affecting the Pop Star.
While the President’s alleged condition has not yet affected his more visible appendages, locker room buddies Privy to the President’s Privates after a quick shower after noon basketball games on the White House
court, claim that Barry is showing ‘obvious pigment changes on his penis…not only is it getting whiter, but it’s getting SMALLER too, although Michelle hasn’t seemed to noticed yet!”
A Canadian Dermatologist, who also practices Proctology, has prescribed a skin cream which contains
Hydroguinone, a skin bleaching agent and urged the President to hire one of Al Gore’s Massage Therapists
to apply a full body coating at least twice a day in order to ‘naturally begin to blend in the rest of his body to match his penis before discoloration becomes noticeable on the rest of his torso.”
Several accredited Doctors including several from Pakistan, Romania, and Estonia, have warned about the possible effects of Hydroguinone.
Lab reports obtained from the Food and Drug Administration have said there is a chance the ingredient can cause Ochronsis, a metabolic disorder leading to severe changes to the eyes, EARS and JOINTS….which seems right on target with Obama now exhibiting changes to 2 out of three!
Supporters of Hillary Clinton, who haven’t forgiven the loss of their Pants Suited Heroine in the 2008 election,have started a push to have Hillary challenge Obama in the Primaries leading up to the 2012 election.
“We thought we’d give him a chance,” said Dykes on Bikes motorcycle president Ronnie “Spyke” Kennedy,
“but this is just too much, a black man with a white dick who’s lost his rhythm and can’t dance…we’re putting all our money where our mouth is….right on Hillary for 2012!”
Let’s Hear It!