by Jalapenoman on 08/05/11 at 11:23 amChicago, IL – (SatireWorld.com)
Homies in the ghetto who are unable to read, write, and comprehend English (preferring Ebonics) decided to celebrate Mutha’s Day in typical low-life fashion. “Pop a Cap At Whitey For Mom” became the official activity as the streets of many inner cities ran with blood on what is typically a peaceful Sunday in May.
The Crips and Bloods celebrated by cruising up and down streets, performing drive by shootings to honor “all the mutha fuckas out there” who are being oppressed and put down by “the man.” In addition to shooting caucasians indiscriminantly, they also shot at “cops, ho’s, pimps, and bitches.”
Families attempting to take Mom to a nice dinner at The Sizzler were advised by police to remain in their homes and baracade the doors. This became even more dangerous when gangs started throwing Molotov cocktails (which they described as “bottles of Thunderbird what we stuffed rags in and lit on fire”) at houses.
When the death toll in the Los Angeles and Chicago areas each climbed above 200, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton both blamed it on the racism of whites, Fox news, Tea Baggers, and the Republican Party. Obama ordered his storm troopers (ACORN) into riot gear and instructed them to beat up some Mexicans or Koreans to restore peace.