by Jalapenoman on 11/05/11 at 8:29 am
The White House – (SatireWorld.com)
President Barack Obama’s approval rating has climbed above 60% for the first time in two years. The soaring numbers were attributed to the recent killing of Osama Bin Laden by Navy Seals.
To capitalize on his growing numbers, Obama has also claimed that, during his Presidency, Navy Seals, Green Berets, and Special Forces troops have killed or captured The Unabomber, Adolf Hitler, Idi Amin, the Big Bad Wolf, Saddam Hussein, Hannibal Lector, Joseph Stalin, Chairman Mao, Godzilla, Charles Manson, Billy the Kid, Benito Mussolini, Tojo, the Creature from the Black Lagoon, the Khymer Rouge, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Joseph Mengele, Jack the Ripper, the Boston Strangler, the Predator, the Hillside Strangler, Jesse James, and The Terminator.
Obama also announced the capture of 87 successful suicide bombers on the streets of Iraq and Afghanistan.
All of these were done, according to the administration, with no loss of life. Due to national security issues, it is impossible to offer proof of the deaths of these individuals, but all were “buried at sea with dignity and respect.”
According to projections from ACORN and other smart minds in the Obama brain trust, this news should raise his approval ratings over 400%.