by Jalapenoman on 14/05/11 at 3:08 am
The Pentagon – (SatireWorld.com)
The results of an autopsy performed on Osama Bin Laden after his shooting and capture have been leaked to the press by an anonymous source within The Pentagon. These reveal that it was not a bullet to the head that killed Bin Laden, as was previously released. The terrorist actually died due to an overabundance of nose hair.
Dr. Wendell Merkin said that “it is not unknown for a man to die due to nostril hair. A number of people in history have passed away due to an overabundance of this growth within the human nose. Studying the autopsy report, I see that Osama Bin Laden apparently never picked his nose, trimmed his nose hair, or blew out the building and growing supply of “boogers” that were backing up behind the hair.”
“When he was shot in the face, he could not breathe through his mouth. He had to, then, get his needed oxygen supply by breathing through his nose. Because of the sinus blockage in the nasal openings, he was unable to draw any breath that way. He actually suffocated himself.”
“It is a strange thing to say, but if Osama Bin Laden had just picked his nose, he’d have been a captive of the Navy Seals and would be alive today.”
This begs the obvious question: Would Michael Jackson still be alive if he had a nose that he could pick?