Suspected Cannibal Arrested After Trying To Eat Himself-Police Believe It’s An Attempted Suicide

by on 25/05/11 at 1:40 pm

Wanda Good, in a recent booking photo, says her boy Mervis 'is a good boy,' who just had watched too much Food Channel lately.


Miami, Florida – (SatireWorld.com)

Straight out of the ‘just when I heard everything department,’ comes a bizarre story from Dade county Florida concerning a suspected cannibal named Mervis Lee Short. According to Lt. Jamison Hardy, ‘the man was acting oddly.’

Mervis Lee Short was stopped by Dade County officers Saturday night for his rather bizarre behavior. Mervis was reported to police by passerbys as being totally nude while in a city park. When police cruisers arrived they observed the suspect sitting in a huge plastic tub filled with tomato sauce.

As officers approached the suspect, Short tried to cut off his finger and eat it. Police arrested the man and saved the severed finger for doctors to re-attach at Jackson Memorial Hospital. Once there, they found that 6 other fingers and toes had been removed at various times in the past few days.

“I am a cannibal” Shouted Short as he was wheeled away for evaluation at the psychiatric section of the hospital. Police think he might be a potential suicide.

His mother, Wanda Good, was given some medication to calm her before she talked with the press. “Oh my! Mervis Lee is such a good boy, but he’s been watching way too much of the Food Channel lately.”



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