Dead Shark With Osama Bin Laden’s Head Inside Washes Up On Miami Beach
by Jon Worthington on 28/05/11 at 6:00 am
Dr. Balfour Higgins performs the post mortum, confirmed it was Osaam Bin Laden's head, and mentioned to reporters that it really smelled like shit.
Coast Guard officials at the South Beach CGS were swamped with calls from beach goers advising Coast Guard officials they found a dead shark on the beach with waht appears to be Osama Bin Laden’s head inside.
Coast Guard personell quickly arrived at the scene and roped off the area pending an investigation by Miami Beach police, the FBI, and staff from the Florida Fish and Game Commission. The 12 foot Great White shark was lying on its back with its mouth open. From a distance a human head with a beard was clearly visible behind multi-rows of razor sharp teeth.
A crowd of mostly Jewish tourists from New York were taking pictures and texting their congressman, complaining about their vacation being upset by a dead terrorist, the high cost of gasoline, and the quality of the bagels made in Florida. A nearby souvenir stand immediately began selling $25.00 tee-shirts with the sharks photo on front, and cheap Chinese ashtrays with a palm tree and a large dead fish nearby.
The body of the shark and Bin Laden’s head were removed and placed in a nearby refrigerated warehouse for short-term stortage. Reportedly, an investment company planned to purchase the remains and use them in a new tourist attraction in nearby Fort Lauderdale. The firm also plans to import really good bagels from New York City.
Let’s Hear It!