Weiner Conspiracy Theories Continue: ” That Wasn’t My Weiner” Says Huma!
by captain america on 07/06/11 at 9:46 am
Somewhere In Weinerville – (SatireWorld.com)
Despite a public appearance on TV yesterday to admit he posted his Weiner on social networking sites, and worse, the furor over Democrat Congressman Anthony “the schemer” Weiner is unabated as supporters now claim “That wasn’t OUR Weiner!”
Adding fuel to the fire was Democrat Space Kadet Denis Kucinich who was once abducted while homeless and sleeping on Shirley McClain’s couch in Arizona between political gigs.
“I think they TOOK HIM,” said the diminutive 4’8″ Star Fleet Trainee. “I just hope we can get him back before it’s too late and he disappears into GITMO…you know what happens there. Next thing you’ll know Cheney will have him admitting it really was him with the explosive missile in his shorts!”
Wife Huma, the non Hummer, agreed. The Clinton staffer who is said to be ‘really close…but no cigar’ to former President Clinton said, “That can’t be my Anthony….the little Bastard would never admit to anything, other than he really loved me almost as much as himself and his little Friend ‘Richard’, ‘Dick’ for short!”
Arianna Huffington agreed. “Never sell Bush and Cheney short! They’re capable of anything. Look, they’ve brought down employment, screwed the taxpayer’s on the GM & Chrysler bailout, and now have us involved in Libya and left the Mexican Border unprotected…sometimes it’s almost to much to bear, even for a “Magic Negro!”
“I think someone’s behind this, ” said Congressman Barney Frank, (D, Gay, MA), “Anthony was going to be our next Mayor of New York and was setting up a coalition with Rahm Emanuel in Chicago to push our progressive agenda. Chicago was going to get the Olympics after all, and NYC was set to get the FIFA World Cup after we bombed Qatar…it would have been a win win for Barry and Valerie Jarrett!”
Meanwhile the New York Post did mention today that a series of strange exploding lights were seen cloaking Brooklyn last night but was later attributed to a violent explosion somewhere in the vicinity of Weiner’s home where he retired to discuss his ‘little Hummer problem’ with wife Huma.
The Post said it all today with a lead story: ” Erections have Consequences,” followed by a life style piece entitled: “When a ‘Huma’ is not a ‘Hummer’ Husband Forced to take matters in his own Hands!”
Said Debbie Wasserman-Schultz to no one in particular while looking into the sunset of Weiner’s now failed Mayoral aspirations, , “Anthony, come back Anthony, We need you Anthony..Don’t leave us Anthony…!”
Rush Limbaugh took note of Weiner’s disappearance by playing the following jingle during his show
and promising to post a picture of Anthony’s now famous ‘member’ on milk cartons throughout the US:
Oscar Mayer Weiner Jingle
Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner
That is what I’d truly like to be
‘Cuz if I were an Oscar Mayer weiner
Everyone would be in love with me!
Hmmmm, Hmmmm, Hmmmm! (Arghhhhhhh!)
Looking for Love in all the wrong Cyber Spaces.
RIP Anthony Weiner, June 6, 2011
Let’s Hear It!