Investigators Discover Anthony Weiner Was Actually Singing During Twitters and E-Mails
by Jalapenoman on 12/06/11 at 5:03 pm
Weiner's backup group, The Weiner Schnitzels, help the congressman score big with chicks that have absolutely zero musical tastes, but often take the boys up on free skin flute lessons.
Queens, New York – (SatireWorld.com)
Investigators into the Anthony Weiner scandal have discovered that there was actually a voice recording sent with the pictures. Women who received his e-mails, twitters, tweets, and other electronic transmissions of himself either naked or partially clothed also received audio of the New York Congressman singing. Most had either not discovered or admitted to hearing the sound commentary as they were still unfamiliar with the new technology.
Antohny Weiner proved that he has no musical talents and will not be joining a choir any time soon. His singing, however, was as perverted as his pictures.
In three of six transmissions sent to the women, he sang:
“He’s got the big weiner, in his pants.
He’s got a big, round weiner, in his pants.
He’s got a great big weiner, in his pants.
He’s got the whole weiner in his pants.”
The second verse changed the pronoun to “She’s” and the word “pants” to “hands.”
The third verse kept the pronoun “she’s,” but changed the word “hands” to “mouth.”
Two women received variations on the Oscar Meyer Weiner theme song (“Oh I wish you’d suck on Anthony Weiner’s weiner….”).
The last of the six women received a message with Weiner singing “Your my soul, and my heart’s inspiration” to his bulging jockey shorts. She admits that she thought it was a joke (both the singing and the small size of the bulge) and ignored it.
The count is now up to 434 Congressmen, 100 Senators, 9 Supreme Court Justices, and a full Cabinet who think that Weiner should resign. President Obama and Anthony Weiner are still holding out, awaiting a clear concensus on the matter.
Let’s Hear It!