by Bargis Tryhol on 26/07/11 at 9:57 amBergenville, New Jersey – (SatireWorld.com)
In Bergenville New Jersey, kids filed back into class. It was Monday morning at Bergenville Middle School and 7th graders were eager to share their weekend experiences. They were very excited, since their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship. Veteran teacher Miss Rosa instructed the class to tell everyone about their venture and how much money they collected for school supplies.
A little girl named Sally Bottlefield led it off first, “I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30,” she said proudly, “My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success.”
“Very good,” said Miss Rosa, obvious pride beamed from her face as she asked the next student to tell about her results.
Mary Francis was next: “I sold used magazines,” she said, “I made $45 and I explained to everyone that used magazines would still keep them up on current events and help with recycling.”
“Very good, Mary” said the teacher. She called on Melvin Lipshitz to tell his sales adventures.
Melvin smirked as he rose to speak and held a large jar full of money. The teacher held her breath. Melvin walked to the front of the classroom and dumped the container full of cash on the teacher’s desk. “$2,467.” he said. His face radiated with a smug grin.
“$2,467!” cried Miss Rosa, “What in the world were you selling?”
“Toothbrushes,” said Little Johnny.
“Toothbrushes!” echoed Miss Rosa, “How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?”
“I found the busiest corner in town,” said Melvin. “I set up a Dip & Chip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample. They all said the same thing, “Hey, this tastes like dog crap!”
Then I would say,”It is dog crap. Wanna’ buy a $5.00 toothbrush?” Melvin smiled proudly as he watched his classmate’s jaws drop.
“You see, I used that famous Barack Obama approach of giving you something shitty for free, and then making you pay to get the taste out of your mouth.”
Melvin received an ‘A’ plus grade.