Anthony Wiener Hired As Commercial Spokesman By Der Weinerschnitzel Restaurant Chain
by Jalapenoman on 01/08/11 at 1:23 pm
Weiner isn't all he's sliced up to be after all.
Citing flagging interest and falling sales, the Der Weinershnitzel restaurant chain hired former New York Congressman Anthony “Underpants” Weiner as a commercial spokesman for their marketing campaign. Weiner, a Democrat who resigned from his seat this summer due to a scandal, will begin his official duties September 1st.
Senator Barney Frank, a long time weiner supporter and advocate, was pleased by the news. “I’m glad Anthony found a place. I wanted to put him on my staff, but didn’t know if it would get bad publicity. He was a loyal and trusted member of Congress before his minor problems. When I needed Weiner help, I always knew I could turn to him. He’d always be right behind me, supporting me all the way.”
Company spokesman Marty Sausage said “the former Representative will be a great addition to our team. He’s already shown that he can market his own weiner all across the country to various demographics (college age, professional women, etc.). I’m sure with our variety of products, he will be a huge assett to our marketing strategy.”
“For his first ad campaign, we are going to promote our restaurants in England. Anthony Weiner will be working hand in hand with soccer teams, they call them football clubs, to promote our products. Soccer players just love weiners! Anthony will go into the locker rooms and sit down with those Man U. boys to work out a strategy.”
No word on if Anthony will be permitted to drive the Der Weiner Mobile. On seeing a picture of the vehicle, however, Senator Barney Frank started drooling and said “Anthony and I have just got to get together!”
There is no truth to the rumor that Weiner will be giving away fudge samples on his marketing stops.
Let’s Hear It!