Bill Clinton’s Memoirs Part III…The ‘Monica Lewinsky-Zippergate’ Scandal
by Bargis Tryhol on 04/08/11 at 4:52 am
Clinton in his official 1997 Presidential portrait. By that time rumors swirled about illicit sexual liasons happening all over the White House and Oval Office.
President Bill Clinton served in office from 1992 through 2000. During that time Oval Office Sex was a prime concern of the American people as rumors swirled and innuendo became dreaded reality…The President of the United States was indeed having sex in the Oval Office with an intern half his age! The resulting scandal was referred to as ‘Zippergate.’
“Monica came into the Oval office quite upset. I asked her what was the problem and that was before I noticed she had changed her hairdo somewhat. Her radiant dark hair was pulled down to the sides, when normally it would be brushed back from her ears accenting her chubby little neck. She sipped her coffee from a styro cup and took a seat on one of the couches. I could tell she was troubled. At first, I feared she might be pregnant, but since our relationship was penetration-free, I could really give a fat rat’s ass if that were the case, but today I was horney and her drama was getting in the way of a good afternoon blowjob.
Finally, she collected herself and began with her story. It seemed she was, again, upset with her weight and had prayed to God that he would do something about her ‘love handles.’
Not taking her too serious, I laughed and asked how it went. Then, she started to cry almost uncontrollably. I gave her a shot of some Irish whiskey I kept in the desk and that seemed to calm her some, at least enough to continue on.
Monica told me she prayed along with a holy man from Israel, Monica is Jewish of course, so I thought maybe he tried to get his ram’s horn cleaned or something, but the rest of the story really surprised me.
It seems God actually listened to her and told her, quote…” Yes Monica, you are a child of God and I will remove your love handles and make you happy and content. Just sleep deeply and your troubles will be cared for.”
Well, Monica dismissed the holy man and went straight to bed. When she awoke and went to her mirror the next morning she witnessed God’s work first hand….In the night, God had removed both of her ears!
Now, I’m not one for miracles but….How do I get this idiot out of my office and get that damned blue GAP dress back?”
Bill Clinton, 1997
Let’s Hear It!